Colleen is the Regional Vice President of Sales, Regulated Industries, SAP SuccessFactors, USA. A mother and businesswoman, Colleen lives with her husband and three children in Charlottesville, Virginia. She is deeply committed to diversity, inclusion, and equality.



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Colleen Chulis

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 id="h-colleen-chulis-talks-about-mothers-as-role-models-for-girls-to-be-strong-and-free-spirited-the-world-fell-in-love-with-a-little-girl-mimicking-her-mother-at-work-in-a-video-that-recently-went-viral-the-8-yr-old-s-impression-of-her-mother-working-reminded-the-world-how-hilarious-but-stressful-working-around-children-can-be-colleen-her-mother-is-the-regional-vice-president-sap-success-factors-for-regulated-industries-in-north-america">
 COLLEEN CHULIS
 talks about mothers as role models for girls to be strong and free
 spirited. The world fell in love with a little girl mimicking her
 mother at work in a
 <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxsgV-bKOlQ">video</a> that
 recently went viral. The 8-yr-old’s impression of her mother working
 reminded the world how hilarious, but stressful, working around
 children can be. Colleen, her mother, is the regional vice-president,
 SAP Success Factors for Regulated Industries, in North
 America.&nbsp;
</h4>

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 A lot of people have now seen my oldest child, Adelle, thanks to the
 video that went viral! We live in Charlottesville, which is a small town
 in Virginia, home to the University of Virginia. My husband coaches the
 men’s soccer&nbsp;team at the university, and it’s a wonderful place to
 raise children.&nbsp;I have been in business or sales since graduating
 from university, and I’ve gone through many ups and downs in life, as a
 human, a woman, and a mother. I would love to share the lessons I have
 learned.


<h4>
 Navigating the
 pandemic
</h4>


 I feel very lucky that no-one in my immediate family was affected by the
 pandemic, although, I have friends who were terribly affected. Both my
 husband and I were able to keep our jobs and we are very thankful. But
 it also reminds us to really give back as much as we can to those who
 have not been so fortunate.&nbsp;



 The pandemic brought about an interesting change for us, because
 typically my husband goes outside to work, and I am more working from
 home or traveling for work. During the pandemic, my husband couldn’t go
 to the office, so he became the main parent to all the learnings, to all
 the teachings, the cooking etc. We went from seeing him just at
 dinnertime and bedtime to him being here 24 x 7.



 I was really focused on work, because I am in sales, so we were meeting
 our customers, trying to understand them and how was Covid affecting
 different kinds of industries. What could we do to help our customers?
 We stopped focusing on selling to make sure that customers were okay. I
 spent a lot of time glued to my computer. The kids were home and
 everyone did well.



 After the pandemic, I started seeing everything from a different point
 of view. For example, swim team meets have started up again this summer.
 In the past, I was always thinking, “Oh gosh, it’s Wednesday night. It’s
 swim team meet. It is so long or so hot…”Now, I can’t wait till
 Wednesday! It definitely changed my perspective. It made me focus on
 what is important.


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<h4 class="has-text-align-center">
 I was really focused on
 work, because I am in sales, so we were meeting our
 customers, trying to understand them and how was Covid
 affecting different kinds of industries. What could we do to help our
 customers? We stopped focusing on selling to make sure that customers
 were okay.&nbsp;
</h4>

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<h4>
 Working from home
 with kids
</h4>


 It’s very hard working from home, and it’s especially hard on kids. I
 think that’s why everyone thought the video was so funny, because almost
 everyone could relate to it. That is exactly what it looks like in my
 house. I am trying to get my work done, or I am on a video call, and my
 child needs something. Children always need something – they want the TV
 channel changed, or they want to go outside, or whatever. Even if you
 have a babysitter, they still want a parent. I still laugh when I watch
 it – my daughter does me so well! She knows exactly how to mimic
 me.&nbsp;&nbsp;



 Work from home has become the new normal. Lots of companies are going to
 adopt the hybrid workplace. Not everyone needs to go into the office
 every single day and do the crazy commute, and I don’t think they
 should. But we do need to figure out what that possibility looks like
 and what the new home looks like.


<h4>
 Seeking
 help
</h4>


 I am so grateful to my husband for doing so much. It was something we
 talked about a lot even before we got married: “I am going to be a
 working mom. Are you okay with that?” I knew who I was, and I didn’t
 think I was likely going to change all of a sudden. I didn’t want to be
 baking during the day, which many of my friends do. I would not have
 loved that.



 I think it’s important to ask for help when you want to. I have a
 therapist I speak to once a month. Early on in my sessions with her, I
 told her how guilty I felt that I rarely cook at home. She said,
 “Why would that make you feel guilty? Are your kids healthy? Do you
 spend time with them?” “Yes, we always sit together, but we are
 always bringing something home: its pre-meal or pre-cooked. It’s just
 basic stuff.” She said, “Well, it’s you who thinks that you have to
 cook the food for your own children. It doesn’t matter if you don’t cook
 it. You still feed them healthy food, you spend time with them, and you
 sit with them during dinner time. Take that pressure off yourself.”


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 <img alt="kids-going-crazy2" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/kids_going_crazy2_48fd300c00.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-11T10:10:32.600Z" />
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 I think we all want to be
 perfect, we all want to have the
 beautiful packages for friend’s birthday parties, but it’s
 okay if we don’t. I realize I was doing to that to myself,
 I was making it harder on myself. I was feeling guilty
 when I didn’t need to. That was certainly freeing for me.
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 I would recommend you explore the reason you feel bad about something.
 There is a way to be easy on yourself. I think we all want to be
 perfect, we all want to have the beautiful packages for friend’s
 birthday parties, but it’s okay if we don’t. I realize I was doing to
 that to myself, I was making it harder on myself. I was feeling guilty
 when I didn’t need to. That was certainly freeing for me.



 If you’re a single mom in the workplace, and you have the choice to be
 flexible, do it! You do not have to be at work exactly at 9 a.m. You can
 start work at 10 a.m. I think it’s important that women are really
 looked after by employers because our lives don’t fit into a box
 sometimes. I understand that there are certain professions that won’t
 allow that luxury, for instance, if you’re a doctor, you have to be
 there at 9 a.m. But if there is any possibility, if you can find a
 company that understands, it’s helpful.



 My company is very flexible and trusting, and I need that. It is
 important to me, and that is one of the reasons why I am here.&nbsp;


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 <img alt="kids-going-crazy3" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/kids_going_crazy3_2cb88de72d.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-11T10:12:38.997Z" />
 
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<h4>
 Parenting with
 enthusiasm
</h4>


 Everyone strives to be happy, but it’s really hard to stay happy always.
 In fact, I think if you strive for happiness, you will probably get the
 feeling that you haven’t hit the mark. At least that is how I feel. I am
 not naturally happy all day long, but I find joy in moments. That is
 what is really fun to look for. It’s the little things that make me
 happy –a cup of coffee in the morning, taking a bath in the evening,
 reading a book, being with my kids.



 I had to figure out the things as a mother that I just didn’t like to
 do. I think a lot of parents don’t allow themselves to say, “I don’t
 like to play, or I don’t like to craft, or I love to craft but I don’t
 like to play.” I decided I wanted to do the things that really made me
 happy, because the kids were going to see that.



 I can sit and craft all day, I love going on walks, I love reading
 books, I love cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, and I love
 throwing a ball. I became aware of where I found joy as a parent, and
 tried to do more of those things, rather than feeling guilty about
 saying I am not going to play that. It sounds like a little thing, but
 you spend a lot of your time with your children on the weekends, so try
 to find joy like this.



 I look for the little moments. Even if I have had a really hard day, a
 really long stressful day, I look back and think about that one thing
 that made me laugh, or a really nice text message from a friend, which I
 will save. To me, that is finding joy versus just trying to be happy all
 day long, which is very hard to do.



 There were other people saying, “This makes me feel sad,” and “Poor
 girl! Mom’s priorities are incorrect.” I thought, “You have no
 idea, you are just commenting on a tiny video clip. So, I can’t really
 take you seriously.” I thought how strange it was for people to
 comment on someone else in such a negative way. It doesn’t add any good
 to the lot. We have to find a way to peace, and to remind ourselves of
 that.


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 <img alt="kids-going-crazy4" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/kids_going_crazy4_d9af803912.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-11T10:14:40.757Z" />
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<h4>
 The
 video
</h4>


 It was exciting. It was crazy to see the numbers flying. People were
 texting, “She’s had a million,” “Oh, my God, she’s had 3 million,” and
 this was on LinkedIn, not YouTube or TikTok. It was so awesome to see
 all the comments from around the world. I had to translate many of the
 comments because people from around the world liked the video, even when
 they didn’t understand what she was saying. They could understand what
 was going on.&nbsp;



 My daughter was very normal about it. I don’t think she even thought
 about it much. A lot of friends said, “You really need to get her to
 acting classes,” but she really loves sports. I think she has natural
 acting ability.



 There were also many negative comments posted on the video, e.g. “You
 should be a better role model!” but it felt that I had an army of people
 behind me. Whenever someone put a negative comment, there would be ten
 people responding, “You don’t know what you are talking about.” Everyone
 defended me without me having to do anything.&nbsp;



 A few of them said, “You should look at what you are doing with your
 time; your daughter is obviously craving your attention.” Well, my
 daughter was acting in the video, while I was filming her. She was
 poking fun at me. I was laughing at it. It was not a cry for help. Of
 course, I could give her more time; I am a working parent! On the other
 hand, I do find my kids to be very intentional, so of course it made me
 think, “Are they right? Am I a bad parent? Shall I give them more time?”



 It is interesting that there are so many images of little girls applying
 lipstick, dressing up in their mom’s high heels, and pretending to walk
 down the aisle. You can picture that image. But there are not many
 images of little girls pretending to be mom at work, with business
 contacts, on the computer. It’s not the image people are used to seeing,
 but it is reality for me.


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<img alt="kids-going-crazy5" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/kids_going_crazy5_b8ce7c8dd7.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-11T10:15:54.701Z" />


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 That’s why it resonated with so many people. They wrote incredible
 things to me, paragraph after paragraph, on how it made them feel, or
 reminded them of when they were a working mom 30 years ago. I have saved
 all these, and one day I am going to put them into a book. It’s on my do
 list. It really did create a strong reaction in so many people.


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 To listen to the full interview with Colleen, go to
 <a
 href="https://heartfulness.org/webinar/glow-webinar-archive/modern-motherhood-and-work-life-balance/">https://heartfulness.org/webinar/glow-webinar-archive/modern-motherhood-and-work-life-balance/</a>.


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 Illustrations have elements from RAWPIXEL.COM
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