Suraj is currently an MBA student at UC Berkeley Haas. He has been a consultant for large government clients and studied engineering at Georgia Tech. Suraj is a storyteller at heart, and is a blogger and public speaker. His aspiration is to create ripples of change in the communities he’s in.

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Suraj Sehgal

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">SURAJ SEHGAL reflects upon coming together and creating community with change and vision.</h4>Moving to a new place, graduating, starting a new job, getting married. There are so many different phases in our lives and points in our life in which we find ourselves reflecting on what is our community, where is our community, and how we want to be a part of it, and how we want to build community. In our own experience, having moved from the east coast to west coast of the USA for the first time, we needed to rebuild a sense of people, a community of people that help each other and stay in touch with each other. Here are a few things we discovered that helped us to feel part of a new community.&nbsp;So number one is <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/leave-it-behind-the-baseline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">consistency</a>, doing things regularly, whether it’s a weekly group meditation and dinner, or a monthly trip or hike, or a consistent meet up. Consistency in the world that we live in today, where everyone is flaking and has a million different priorities, is a challenge. But part of setting up a community is showing that you care about it, and so being consistent and regular in whatever you pursue, really goes a long way in setting up a long term community. If it’s a newsletter, or an online community, a newsletter that is weekly, biweekly, quarterly – whatever it is, be consistent. Or, have a phone call with a friend, be consistent and regular with those things.&nbsp;The second is availability, a big <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/the-4-phases-of-community" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">part of community</a>, whether it’s meditation or otherwise, is asking yourself the question: How am I making myself available to other people? This doesn’t mean that you have to say yes to everything, but consider, am I available for the big moments in someone’s life? Whether it's their birthday, their parents visiting the graduation that they have, in what ways am I making myself available for other people to participate in my life? Am I thinking I’m going to do everything on my own, and not giving people the opportunity to come and enjoy, and celebrate with me or work together?&nbsp;The last is vision, to have a deep sense of community, I find that it’s really important to have set an intention or a vision of what it is that you’re inviting, and then to let that guide you in in your day to day activities.&nbsp;So life is unpredictable. We have no idea who or what will come into our lives. But if you have a vision of the kind of community or feeling that you want to create, of brotherhood, of friendship, of a bond of people helping each other, nurture that vision, meditate on that vision, pray for it, inviting it mentally. Then, allow that vision to inspire what you can do next, how you can reach out to people and who you might know what you might do next.

How to build a community

<h4>Back in 2015, while a college student, SURAJ SEHGAL explored friendship, and came up with 4 ways to be a better friend. They are timeless in their wisdom and will help you cultivate a giving attitude toward others.</h4>It wasn’t until I came to college that I began to appreciate my friends and what it meant to have a friendship. When you are suddenly&nbsp;surrounded by people everywhere, and are&nbsp;also given more duties&nbsp;and responsibility, the day-to-day tradeoff between investing in friendships and expending effort&nbsp;on classes, work, and organizations becomes&nbsp;much more tangible.&nbsp;For me, this helped me realize some important aspects of friendship that have helped me grow.Whether you are trying to make new relationships or maintain old bonds, below are a few simple ways in which you can improve that balance and grow to become a better friend:<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend2_6cb9f0b45f.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend2.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend2_6cb9f0b45f.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>1. Show up</h4>Whether it’s an event that your friend has planned or just a trip to the grocery store, being present is a powerful way of showing that you care. Even just seeing someone’s face over several occasions&nbsp;can go a long way in making them seem familiar.<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend3_d5c2eb8bd7.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend3.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend3_d5c2eb8bd7.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>2. Reach out&nbsp;</h4>When&nbsp;you remember somebody you haven’t spoken to in a while, take a moment to reach out to them. It takes no more than a minute to text someone a “How are you?” or a “Let’s catch up!”, but in a world where everyone knows hundreds of people, taking the time to reach out with a simple hello can make you&nbsp;stand out. After all, don’t we all like to be remembered?<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend4_de7dc34532.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend4.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend4_de7dc34532.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>3. Accommodate</h4>For many of us, with our busy lives, busy jobs, and constant work, we often find it very&nbsp;difficult to see the relevance of talking to anybody&nbsp;who is not&nbsp;actively present&nbsp;in our day-to-day&nbsp;activities.&nbsp;We become so absorbed in our&nbsp;mundane tasks that we often forget those people&nbsp;who have helped to&nbsp;make our experiences&nbsp;worthwhile. When someone is making an effort to reach out to you, try to accommodate. Recognize how much effort the other person has been making by letting them know that you notice how much they have been giving to you and try to give back as much as you can.<img class="image_resized" style="width:25%;" src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/be_a_better_friend5_e35f831567.jpg" alt="be-a-better-friend5.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_be_a_better_friend5_e35f831567.jpg 156w," sizes="100vw"><h4>4. Appreciate&nbsp;</h4>Many times, we forget that along with our families, our friends have shaped much of who we are today. Take a brief moment to look within and acknowledge&nbsp;who has had an impact on you. Whether it has been because of a deep&nbsp;conversation or a passing compliment, if someone has helped to change you or your perspective, take the time to let them know – it has the potential to mean more than you can imagine.&nbsp;We all meet each other for a reason, and it is important to appreciate that&nbsp;everyone plays a&nbsp;role&nbsp;in our development and growth, whether it is&nbsp;the professor&nbsp;who taught you&nbsp;discipline or the grade school bully who helped&nbsp;you develop patience.Ultimately, there is no formula for being a better friend. Maintaining friendships and good relationships is a continual process that takes intention, love, and time. And while we may never be perfect friends, with some planning and better understanding, our little efforts can go a long way in helping uplift those who have helped us on our journey.First published in Heartfulness Magazine in November 2015<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL</h4><hr>&nbsp;