Lalaji was born in 1873 in north India. He was the first Heartfulness Guide, as well as being a great sage and a spiritual scientist of the highest caliber. He was a family man of perfect human etiquette and civility. Lalaji rediscovered the ancient art of yogic Transmission, which is the specialty of Heartfulness. He thus revolutionized meditation so that all interested seekers can reach the highest approach. His discovery defines the modern era of spirituality.

lalaji-ramchandra.jpg

Lalaji

<h4>Back at the turn of the 20th century, the great yogi RAM CHANDRA
 (LALAJI) shared some tips about communication with his associates in a small town of
 northern India. Today these principles are even more relevant in corporate boardrooms, parliaments, universities and
 school classrooms the world over. Imagine if we could all follow this approach to communicating with others! The
 world would be transformed.</h4>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
The style of speech should be devoid of rise and fall in pitch. On the contrary, it
 should be like the divine current, flowing evenly since the beginning of creation. I had copied just that and
 innumerable are its benefits, beyond the possibility of narration. This is a philosophy, that when the flow of
 conversation proceeds in conformity with Reality, there develops a state of harmony between the two. Through that
 harmony, the divine way starts developing automatically. This results in effectiveness, as whatever is spoken goes
 on touching the hearts of others. In other words, a sort of relationship with the current of Reality is established.
 When a relationship is created, effectiveness has to be there. If we copy it, only those words will flow during
 conversation that are intended and are right.
To achieve this, we first of all try to remove the rise and fall in the voice while
 speaking, which is also called sharpness. This flow of speech will go on acquiring harmony with the current of
 Reality, to the extent that such a reduction is achieved progressively. By ‘sharpness’ I do not only imply anger,
 which is very heavy and should not be allowed at all in this context. What I mean is that the flow of speech should
 not carry any kind of weight in it. An illustration of this is a current of still air. It is very difficult to
 achieve, but everything is possible through sustained effort and courage, if the Grace of the Guru is there. The
 balanced condition of mind is an expression of the right attitude in all our activities, under varied circumstances.
 In a broad sense, it is the reflection of our character. It has a deep impact and a favourable influence on those
 people who are associated with us. It reveals itself in conversation, which can be either serious and long or light
 and short. Such conversation is devoid of excitement or any high-pitched emotional outburst, and devoid of any
 rapid, short-tempered and moody reaction. It is a prompt, methodical and civil expression of the self, and it is
 soft, cultured and smooth like the harmonious descent of Divine Grace.

<hr>

<h5 style="text-align: center;">The balanced condition of mind 
 is an expression of the right attitude 
 in all our activities, 
 under varied circumstances.
</h5>

<hr>

A person whose tongue is polite, civilized and cultured, has a large, pure and noble
 heart, and thus has a wide sway over the minds of others. The pure heart, in communion with the Base or the Source,
 pours itself forth naturally with nobility, magnanimity and love. It leaves an impression immediately, and
 progressively makes deep inroads and establishes itself in the minds of all. But ambiguity and indecision are not to
 be encouraged. A civil tongue is a prerequisite to achieve the goal of human life. A cultured tongue rules the
 kingdom of the heart. A polished tongue in discourse or conversation influences humanity and reigns supreme.
<img decoding="async" alt="Principles of Conversation" 
 class=" has-img-center lazyload "
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Principles_of_Conversation2_3b3fe07e90.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T12:35:12.088Z">

Anger is a poison to spirituality. Unless we are free from this plague, moderation can
 never be obtained. The effect of anger is that the system becomes heavy and tension is produced. There will be
 continuous pressure on thought. This human frailty leads to loss of self-respect and individuality, and results in
 unhappiness. This does not allow the free and subtle current to enter; in other words it restrains the flow of
 Divine Grace. If anger is overcome, and a nasty and short temper is avoided, there is scope for the attainment of a
 balanced condition of the mind. The greater the control over it, the freer and more bounteous is the celestial gift.

<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">A civil tongue is a prerequisite 
 to achieve the goal of human life. 
 A cultured tongue rules 
 the kingdom of the heart.
</h5>
<hr>
It is a pity that this important and essential principle of the use of the tongue in the
 inevitable and constant activity of man is often overlooked and neglected. It is also unfortunate if the Divine Guru
 is held responsible for any lapse. It is no doubt very difficult to control the mind.
To free ourselves from anger, we should think ourselves to be polite and humble. Nay, we
 should try to make ourselves such that the same color enters each and every part of the body. A cool and calm
 disposition alone is required for spirituality. The heart is so tender that it begins to droop even by the slightest
 circulation of wind.
When we rise to some height, lowness is also within our sight to the same extent. This
 is a secret of Nature. If, while remaining glued to the Master, we make high advancement and yet feel low, is this
 not a state? The cause of this I have just stated. Our passion should be: whatever is there is Thine! And when it is
 thus, where is the occasion for regret?
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">The technique of developing softness 
 is to create extreme humility in temperament, 
 so that it is filled with such a sentiment of love 
 as to have no inclination to 
 cause any hurt to anyone’s heart, 
 and the words are also such as not to 
 hurt anyone’s heart in the least.
</h5>
<hr>
When we are satiated with something, we no longer derive pleasure from it to the same
 degree as earlier. By and by we come to treat it as something ordinary. Just this is to be known as the state of
 regret or the fallen condition. Apart from that, lying low is better than a perch up. Herein lies devotion and
 therein rests the idea of perfection.
What more than this is there for me to tell? When we have lost all sense of our own
 significance, and are devoid of ego-consciousness in any form, direct or indirect, then whatever we do will be just
 what we ought to be doing. This condition, if bestowed by God, is the best of all conditions. Everyone ought to try
 to arrive at it.
The technique of developing softness is to create extreme humility in temperament, so
 that it is filled with such a sentiment of love as to have no inclination to cause any hurt to anyone’s heart, and
 the words are also such as not to hurt anyone’s heart in the least.
Excerpt from Complete Works of Ram Chandra,&nbsp;Vol. 4, 2018, Shri Ram
 Chandra Mission, India.&nbsp;
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by RAM CHANDRA (LALAJI)</h4>
<hr>

Principles of conversation

Our heart

The soul of this world

This world is like our bodies

The kingdom of the heart

lao-tzu.webp

Lao Tzu

Nature

The best type of leader

Have few desires

Dr. Otis is Professor of English at Emory University. Her research has been supported by MacArthur, Guggenheim, Fulbright, and Humboldt Fellowships. She is the author of non-fiction and fiction books, including Banned Emotions, Rethinking Thought, and The Memory Hive.

laura-otis.webp

Laura Otis

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">LAURA OTIS is a Professor of English at Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia. She integrates scientific and literary thinking, and is especially interested in multisensory imagery and emotions. Here she is interviewed by KASHISH KALWANI, a former student of Professor Otis, about the ethics of care.</h4>&nbsp;Q: Welcome, Professor Otis. Could you please share a little bit about your background and your interest in ethics and care?&nbsp;LO: At university, I studied biochemistry and neuroscience. Then I had a huge crisis, and ended up with a Ph.D. in comparative literature. So my research and teaching involve the intersection of literature and science. I became interested in caregiving because my mother developed early onset dementia in her early 60s, and that led to an interest in seeing how caregiving is represented in stories, novels, and plays, how people create narratives around caregiving, how realistic they are, and the ethics involved in representing caregiving. That’s what brought me to the course at Emory.Q: How do you find that literature and neuroscience have formed your understanding and approach to care and ethics, in academics and everyday life?LO: Literature and science evoke compassion in different ways. Science reminds us of what we all have in common. A lot of people in literary studies think that everything is influenced or even determined by culture and language, but when you think about how brains work, you realize that anyone’s brain can develop problems.&nbsp;As we age, we develop similar problems. Seeing the things that can go wrong with the human nervous system evokes tenderness in me. I realize how precious and beautiful it is, and want to take care of it, not abuse it. When I see someone who has trouble moving or thinking, I think that everything wrong with that person’s nervous system could go wrong with mine, or with anybody I know. Science is a reminder of what we have in common.&nbsp; Literature opens my mind to different ways of looking at care giving and understanding or experiencing disease that might not otherwise have occurred to me.Q: This conversation is especially relevant with climate change, wars, economic crises, homelessness, and more. In your opinion, what would be the key ethical responsibilities of leaders when it comes to caring for others, in community, organizational, and family settings?LO: First, make sure that you’re well informed, not just listening to yes-people. Nowadays, we have good information about how people are living in communities, involving feedback from the community groups. Be open and willing to listen to what’s happening.&nbsp;There are different political philosophies about how responsible leaders are for the welfare of others. There’s everything on the spectrum from every person for himself to the government’s responsibility for everyone. And I fall somewhere in the middle.&nbsp;Listen to people, and then be ready to muster government resources to help. It’s best and probably cheapest if done in a proactive way. Rather than waiting for the next hurricane or disaster, find out what caused so much suffering in the last disaster and keep it from happening again.Q: How do global issues such as climate change, inequality, and wars impact our ethical obligations toward care, both at an individual and collective level?LO: Countries that have contributed the most to global warming probably have a responsibility to help people who are suffering, like those whose countries are about to disappear because of rising sea levels, those who’ve had to leave their homes. Money is finite, and even rich countries may not have much money to spare. But they can take into consideration what’s going on.&nbsp;We can probably help more immigrants than we might believe. It’s not that we should open the border and let everyone come in, but we can invest more resources in processing people, evaluating whether they have a right to come.&nbsp;We need to do concrete things to help people who are affected by climate change and wars, rather than being reactive. How can we stop the causes? Can we move faster toward green energy?<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Literature opens my mind to different ways of looking at caregiving and understanding or experiencing disease that might &nbsp;not otherwise have occurred to me.</h4><hr>Q: Thank you for talking about the global scale. You said that your mother had dementia, so how did you approach her care while also dealing with your world and the world outside?LO: The worst time with dementia is when the patient is still trying to live the life they had before, not in an assisted living facility. Once the person is in an assisted living facility (if the family makes that choice), everything is easier. The transition time of deciding what we would do, where she would go to get the care she needed, coincided with me trying to get tenure in my academic career, which is when expectations are extremely high.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.29%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp" alt="taking-care2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;You’re getting evaluated all the time. I was also in a psychologically abusive marriage and trying to leave. During that period, I thought very little about the world.I pulled back, so there’s a void in my knowledge of current events between 1993 and 1995. It’s a natural human response—you feel threatened, so you focus on yourself. But I don’t recommend that. The irony is that it may actually help to think beyond yourself. I know that now. I didn’t know that then.Q: What changes would you like to see in the way societies approach care?&nbsp;LO: No stigmas. No stigma for taking care of somebody yourself, no stigma in saying no. No stigma against quitting your job because you want to take care of your family. No stigma against deciding that your family member needs to live in an assisted care facility. Care choices should be open to whatever works best for the family.I would love to see the stigma taken away from assisted living, what used to be called nursing homes; no shame if a family chooses to do this because they can no longer provide the care.&nbsp;I’d like to see more affordable assisted living options. We need creativity to set that up because people are living longer, and they need care in the last part of their lives. It’s not something we can improvise.&nbsp;I feel sorry for people who don’t have the money for assisted living. They have to figure it out themselves. I’d like to see more social and government involvement in care and more affordable options.&nbsp;Q: So how do we take care of each other? How do we ask for help?&nbsp;LO: Start with the people nearest you and work outward. We learn how to treat others from our interactions with family and friends. And hopefully that knowledge continues to develop as we grow. Some people are better at it than others, but at any point in life we can learn how to treat other people. Build a network that grows ever outward. It’s most logical to start with your family and friends in your community, but don’t necessarily be satisfied with that. Keep expanding the circle.Q: I agree. It’s easier to ask someone how they would like to receive care than to ask for help ourselves, but we also need care. It’s tough because we’re raised to “have it together.” No one has time for our mess, everyone’s having a rough life, so we have to handle it on our own. We have to ask: How can I take care of myself?&nbsp;LO: That’s right. Also, I’d say, be careful asking people if they need anything, because you may not get an honest answer.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:69.24%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp" alt="taking-care3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Care choices should be open to whatever works best for the family.&nbsp;</h4><hr>We can always take better care of each other. Where there are cultural forces involved, there’s a delicate balance. In America, the idea of taking care of each other is that we’re all supposed to take care of ourselves. Some people experience an offer of help as invasive or disrespectful. If someone suddenly wants to take care of them, even within a relationship, there may be conflict. They do not want to be taken care of. There can be exploitation, too. Some people expect to be taken care of, which is not good either. Be aware of the interpersonal and cultural forces that shape the issues around care. &nbsp;I confess, I don’t respond well when people try to take care of me. I find it disrespectful. But when I’ve needed help, it hasn’t bothered me at all. I’ve been grateful. I was in a traffic accident in 2000; I was riding my bike when a truck ran over my foot. People immediately stopped what they were doing to help, and I appreciated that; I had no problem.&nbsp;It’s difficult judging when to help. When I’ve seen other people in accidents, I’ve dropped what I was doing so I could help, because I appreciated what people did for me. But I’m also sensitive to people’s pride in their privacy. All you can do is give your best judgment.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">We can always take better care of each other. Where there are cultural forces involved, there’s a delicate balance.&nbsp;</h4><hr>Q: You are the author of many books. Has there been any ethical or moral dilemma that arose within the characters and themes of your books?LO: Probably all of them! The one that comes to mind is the most recent one, Banned Emotions. The first line of that book is, “What are the politics of telling people what to feel?” It grew out of a personal story. I’d had a bad breakup, and everybody had advice about what I should do. People were telling me what to feel and in what time frame, and it bothered me. Luckily, I thought outward, rather than just getting mad, and realized how much people try to control their emotions and dictate the emotions of others. The ethical dimension for me is: What right do I have to say what another person should be feeling? I haven’t experienced what they experienced.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.98%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care4_f666631059.webp" alt="taking-care4.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care4_f666631059.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care4_f666631059.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care4_f666631059.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;I wrote about patterns and emotions like long-term simmering anger, self-pity, envy, etc., which are socially discouraged. We’re not supposed to feel them, especially self-pity. Also, the advice not to feel those things doesn’t go equally to all; it tends to go toward the people who have the least power. Women have very often been told what they should and should not be feeling.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">It’s worthwhile paying attention to your own emotions because it helps you understand other people who are feeling similar emotions.</h4><hr>One example is, “Life is not fair.” Parents tell children, prison guards tell prisoners, teachers tell students; it doesn’t move the other way. I can’t imagine a kid telling her parents, “Life is not fair,” if something happens that the parent doesn’t like. It’s like that with emotions. “Oh, you’re wallowing in self-pity,” and the person may have a very good reason to feel sorry for themself, or to feel angry. When you feel that way, it’s because you’ve experienced injustice. When you tell people, “You have no right to feel sorry for yourself, you have no right to be angry over this, you need to have positive emotions,” what you’re really telling them is to suppress their anger at injustice.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.94%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp" alt="taking-care5.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;That’s not going to cause justice suddenly to bloom. It’s a kind of censorship, stopping critique. Sianne Ngai at the University of Chicago wrote a book called Ugly Feelings, and she said that if you’re telling people with less power that they’re not allowed to feel certain emotions, you’re preventing social critique.Q: That is so powerfulLO: It’s complicated because people on the other side will say, “Well, what good did self-pity ever do anyone?” But if nobody seems to be on your side, it’s reasonable to feel sorry for yourself and say, “I hurt. This isn’t fair.” These are reasonable things to think, as long as they’re healing you. You’re supposed to be moving forward, you’re not supposed to hold onto things. You’re supposed to let go and move on. And if it makes you feel sorry for yourself, it may actually help you to keep going. If you never get beyond the feeling of outrage, then that’s not going to do anybody any good. If it helps you to heal, though, then why not? We don’t have a right to tell people what they should be feeling to heal.It’s worthwhile paying attention to your own emotions because it helps you understand other people who are feeling similar emotions.Q: I guess that is how we take care of each other.&nbsp;

Are we taking care of each other?

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Professor LAURA OTIS of Emory University shares with KASHISH KALWANI the list of books chosen for the course “Representation of Care in Literature,” and why those particular books are significant.</h4>Q: Welcome Professor Otis. In your course on how care is represented in literature, we discussed books like Klara and the Sun, Frankenstein, The Death of Ivan Ilyich, Beloved, and more. Each story presents a very unique perspective on ethics and care. I would like to know your thoughts on the themes in those books and why you chose them.LO: Professor Paul Wolpe and I put a lot of thought into the books, and there were many candidates that didn’t make it. The ones we chose were particularly good at representing different kinds of care, for example:<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Frankenstein by Mary Shelly</h4>We wanted to make sure we thought about care throughout the human lifespan. One dimension is parents caring for children… or not, which is what happens in Frankenstein, or failing to fulfill their responsibilities and care for their children. Frankenstein raises those questions so powerfully. You see all the rationalizations of someone who is running away from his responsibilities, and you keep wondering, “How can they think that way?”&nbsp;<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Florida by Lauren Groff</h4>I wanted to think about caregiving on a social level, not just one individual to another, not just within one family. I wanted us to read Lauren Groff’s stories, especially about homelessness in Florida. There is one about a female graduate student who ends up homeless; anyone can potentially become homeless with a certain combination of things going wrong in their life. Her story raised the issue of how we react when we come face-to-face with somebody who needs care in our community. What do we do? Is it something we should do personally, or is it something that should be done at a social level?The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo TolstoyWe wanted to look at the end of life. It was Professor Wolpe who chose The Death of Ivan Ilyich, which focuses on the very difficult transition of becoming someone who has to be taken care of. He has a servant who does most of the caring; it’s not really his family who does it.It’s What Indian Girls Do by Mary Rina ChittooranWe wanted to look at different cultures to show how very different the expectations are around caregiving. In It's What Indian Girls Do, a professor is taking care of her mother. She can’t eat right, and she doesn’t have time to sleep. I think it is her mother who says, “Well, that’s what Indian girls do.” That was the argument. There are cultures where, if you act like Frankenstein, or if you refuse to take care of your parents, you become a pariah. No one respects you. Then there are other cultures in which it is perfectly acceptable to look for a nursing home.Those are the different dimensions: beginning of life, end of life, different cultures, and then social level of care.

Exploring the topic of care in literature

defualt-profile-image.png

Lauren Martin

You are energy, made of love

Laurie Buchanan

<hr class="vertical-space1">
<h4>LAURIE BUCHANAN explores the alchemical art of self-transformation, including
 letting go of things that no longer serve us, and how we can accept our grief and sorrow as part of our humanness
 and love for life.</h4>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
A very basic explanation of alchemy is that it transforms something common into
 something special. Derived from the Arabic word al-kimia, alchemy can be either a practice or a way of
 life:
As a practice, the focus of this ancient art is an attempt to change base metals into
 gold, making the alchemist outwardly rich, leading to financial gain.
As a way of life, the focus is on living with intention, achieving wisdom, and doing the
 work it takes to become a little more enlightened every day, making the alchemist inwardly rich, leading to inner
 wealth.
Alchemy as a way of life often includes clearing our clutter – internal and external –
 and letting go of things that no longer serve us well. This creates balance and space, a place that nurtures
 contentment, which I believe is true success.
Inner alchemy, or personal transformation, occurs at different times and speeds for
 everyone:
Early, quick, and dynamic 
 Late, slow, and measured 
 Somewhere in-between
One of the things that can have the greatest impact on our internal landscape is sorrow.
 It doesn’t discriminate; it is non-biased. Transcending all differences, it affects people of every age, gender,
 sexual orientation, ethnicity, culture, education, socioeconomic status, spiritual tradition, culture, and political
 stance. It’s part of the human experience, so no one is immune.
Sorrow is born from loss. Its razor-sharp blade cuts through the heart – the seat of our
 emotions – whether we’ve lost our job, our home, a limb, an opportunity, or a loved one.
Some of the world’s most beautiful artwork and literature come from deep places of pain
 and suffering. But prolonged or unrelenting sorrow, despair and hopelessness, can destroy.
Happiness is a feeling. It fluctuates based on external circumstances. It’s temporary,
 fleeting at best. For instance, we check the mailbox and find a notice from the tax office informing us that we owe
 a considerable sum in back taxes. For most people, their happiness level would plunge. On the flip side, we check
 the mailbox and find an unexpected refund check and our happiness level soars.
Happiness can also be a result of manufactured merriment such as going to the circus,
 watching a funny movie, or attending a party.
Different than happiness, when our lens through which we view life, our perspective, is
 governed from the inside out, the external pressures fall away and we experience joy.
Joy is a state of being. It is inexplicable peace even in the midst of turmoil. Joy is
 internal, and when nurtured and encouraged, it becomes resident, abiding, regardless of external circumstances.
There are people who suffer tremendous personal devastation yet retain a state of joy,
 inexplicable peace. Viktor Frankl is a perfect example. As a Viennese Jew, he was interned by the Germans for more
 than three years, but being confined by the narrow boundaries of a concentration camp didn’t rob him of joy. In his
 book Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it
 finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”
Joy is our inner response to meaning, to hope. Cultivating and maintaining our inner
 garden eases the struggle that exists along life’s path, and with the passage of time, sorrow can amazingly
 transform into colorful blooms of love, forgiveness, humor, contentment, gratitude, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Life is an expression of the choices we make, with each choice serving to transform us –
 subtle or obvious – body, mind, and spirit.
What area of your life could use a touch of alchemy?

<hr class="vertical-space1">


<hr>

<h5 style="text-align: center;">If our hearts are ready for anything, 
 we can open to our inevitable losses, 
 and to the depths of our sorrow. 
 We can grieve our lost loves, our lost youth, 
 our lost health, our lost capacities. 
 This is part of our humanness, 
 part of the expression of our love for life. </h5>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">—Tara Brach</h5>
<hr class="vertical-space1">

<hr>

<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by LAURIE BUCHANAN 
 Illustrations by JASMEE RATHOD</h4>

<hr>

Inner alchemy

Laya is a sophomore at Stanford University, where she studies computer science. She loves to go on hikes, meditate, read books, and play the piano. She is experienced in the full-life cycle development of multiple apps and is passionate about developing solutions in the overlap between mental health and artificial intelligence.

Laya-Iyer.jpg

Laya Iyer

<h4
 id="h-laya-iyer-is-in-her-second-year-of-computer-science-at-stanford-university-california-she-talks-about-what-motivated-her-journey-as-a-young-researcher-and-encourages-other-young-people-to-take-up-research">
 LAYA IYER
 is in her second year of Computer Science at Stanford University,
 California. She talks about what motivated her journey as a young
 researcher, and encourages other young people to take up research.
</h4>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 My research journey began as a freshman in high school. I spent my first year
 noticing the enormous amounts of social, academic, and athletic pressure that
 was put on students in my districts, including self-induced pressures. Since I
 understood the implications that societal and academic pressure can have on
 the mental health of students, I wanted to see if there was a way to help
 mitigate these effects. So, in order to help the people around me, I created
 an app and I evaluated the efficacy of my app so as to contribute to the
 broader wellness-research community.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<div>
 <figure>
 <img decoding="async" width="700" alt="" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dive_research_young2_700x584_6ce4cf6738.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-13T10:23:52.124Z" />
 </figure>
</div>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 I have been around research from a very young age – inspired by a mother who
 pursued her Ph.D. when she had three girls under 3. This molded my mind into
 an inquisitive one. Developing a sense of curiosity helped me to be excited
 about solving problems and opened up a world of possibilities and ways of
 thinking.



 But I didn’t just stop at questioning, taking actionable steps to soothe my
 curiosity. It helped make me feel like I had a bigger purpose – giving back to
 people around the world. Helping people by proposing ways to solve problems,
 and evaluating solutions fulfills me and keeps me going through difficult
 experiences.



 When I was a sophomore in high school, my school days were academically
 intense, taking three advanced science classes at once. After school, on the
 swim team, I would practice for three hours, feeling both mentally and
 physically exhausted. But, when I came home, I was rejuvenated by working on
 something that satisfied me, that I was genuinely curious about. One of the
 best things about research is that you can work on anything you are passionate
 about and develop your ideas in that area!



 After setting up my research question and getting the study approved through
 an institutional review board, I began to collect data. For me, the most
 exciting part of there search experience is seeing all the data come in, then
 analyzing and drawing patterns among the numbers. In the analysis phase, the
 data come together like pieces of a puzzle. Eventually, you have data that
 either support your initial thought process or reveal something new.



 Being a young person in research, you also provide fresh and new perspectives
 to professionals who have been working in their field for a long time. This
 introduction of a unique perspective often helps solve complex, unsolved
 problems; or at least tests out new ideas for problems that have existed for
 an extremely long time. Contributing to a larger foundation of research work
 is a gratifying experience, as your research informs the next generation of
 researchers in your area.



 Every step of the way in the research process – whether you just want to be
 involved in the ideation phase or you really enjoy analyzing the data – you
 benefit from dipping your fingers in. If you have the opportunity to work in
 research, leap at it and flourish!


<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<div>
 <figure>
 <img decoding="async" width="700" alt="" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dive_research_young3_700x584_5a269171ff.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-13T10:25:21.346Z" />
 </figure>
</div>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

Dive into research young!

Laya is a sophomore at Stanford University, where she studies computer science. She loves to go on hikes, meditate, read books, and play the piano. She is experienced in the full-life cycle development of multiple apps and is passionate about developing solutions in the overlap between mental health and artificial intelligence.

Liaa is a sophomore at the University of Texas, majoring in Economics and Computer Science. She enjoys running, reading, and baking. She’s passionate about making mental health resources more accessible, has created two mental wellness apps, and has conducted research to explore the ways in which technology can help make the mental health journey more accessible and personal for all. 

Laya-Liaa.jpg

Laya Iyer and Liaa Kumar

<h4>
 LAYA IYER
 and
 LIAA KUMAR
 have completed their first year of college in the US. They share their
 experience of how starting college can be as smooth and enriching as
 possible.
</h4>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 New beginnings are great. They’re a chance to start afresh and chart a new
 course in any direction you choose. Change brings excitement and challenges,
 opportunities for growth and new experiences. Moments of transition also
 create much needed moments of reflection and allow you to re-prioritize and
 adjust your direction in life.



 Starting college last fall was our most recent new beginning. It was dizzying,
 exciting, and a little disorienting. You are away from home for the first
 time, trying to find a new and different sense of home. You’re figuring out
 your place in the world, figuring out what parts of your identity you want to
 hold onto, what parts you’ve outgrown, and what kind of person you want to
 grow into. We’ve learned a lot from our first semester of college life, about
 each other, ourselves, and the world around us.


<h3>
 Here are 10
 tips that have worked for us.
</h3>

<h4>
 #1. Be kind to your
 body.
</h4>


 Every single one of your 600 odd muscles, 200 bones, and 37 trillion something
 cells work tirelessly day in and day out to keep your body functioning.
 Imagine those tiny workers, pumping your blood, and fending off potential
 illnesses, all so you can laugh, dance and live every single day. The
 kindest thing you can do for them is eat some fruits and vegetables once in a
 while and make an effort to be physically active. Fresh air won’t hurt you!
 Listen to your body, learn to recognize when it’s tired, hungry, and thirsty.
 Make it easy for your body to stay strong and resilient. Be kind to your body
 and it will be kind to you.


<h4>
 #2. Prioritize your
 sleep.
</h4>


 College is great because life is so full of people, activities,
 thoughts, ideas. It’s tempting to skip a few hours of sleep so you don’t miss
 a single second of it. But adrenaline only lasts so long, and unless you want
 to be perpetually exhausted or unfocused during the day, you’ll always benefit
 from enough sleep the night before. Not to mention that learning to make good
 choices for yourself, especially in the face of tempting alternatives, is a
 valuable exercise in prioritizing yourself and setting boundaries. That said,
 staying up late enough to see the sunrise is a rite of passage in college;
 just consider saving it for the weekend.


<h4>
 #3. Find your own
 pace.
</h4>


 Life is not a race, it’s a marathon. Although it may seem like things and
 people around are moving at lightspeed, the most important person you’re
 competing with is yourself. Everyone is working toward their own destination,
 and if you spend all your time trying to accomplish someone else’s goals you
 might end up in a place you never wanted to be in the first place. Take some
 time to figure out what it is that you want and what to do to get
 there. Don’t be afraid to challenge and push yourself, but don’t feel like you
 have to impress anyone or live up to their expectations. Taking things at your
 own pace, even if that means slowing down once in a while, will take you much
 further than trying to sprint to the finish line.


<h4>
 #4.
 Create your own life, don’t wait for someone to tell you what to do with
 it.
</h4>


 If you don’t know what your purpose or direction in life is yet, that’s okay!
 Explore, be curious about the world, and be willing to learn something from
 every person you meet. Ask questions and create opportunities for yourself.
 People often talk about “finding themselves,” but if you don’t know what
 you’re looking for, how will you know when you’ve found it? Take time to
 figure out what kind of person you want to be and what direction you want to
 move in. It’s a powerful first step toward creating the kind of life you want.


<h4>
 #5.
 Stay true to yourself and your people will find you.
</h4>


 You’ll be meeting many new people all the time: in classes, the dining hall,
 the hallway, and at clubs. Some of them will become great friends, others will
 be friendly acquaintances. Be open to meeting new people from different
 backgrounds, and you’re guaranteed to meet people with whom you click.
 Surround yourself with people who inspire you, challenge, and encourage you to
 be the best version of yourself.


<h4>
 #6. Call
 home.
</h4>


 It’s all too easy to get caught up in the newness of everything. Remember the
 people who have taken care of you and helped make you who you are. Check in
 with them, even when nothing’s wrong. They want to know how you are. When
 you’re busy building all these new relationships, don’t forget to take care of
 the ones you came to college with.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<figure class="block-image">
 <img alt="starting-college2" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/starting_college2_cef80e0f30.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-11T11:11:08.722Z" />
</figure>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<h4>
 #7.
 Refrain from judging, instead try to learn from the people around
 you.
</h4>


 You will meet people from a variety of backgrounds you are not familiar with.
 It’s important to be compassionate and understanding and give people the place
 to be themselves. It’s a wonderful opportunity to be inspired and learn more
 about the world. Be curious and don’t be afraid to ask questions.


<h4>
 #8. Make sure to
 connect with yourself.
</h4>


 Whether it’s through journaling, meditation, or going on a short walk, make
 sure you check in with how you’re feeling. Even the most extroverted person
 needs some downtime to recharge and reflect, so give yourself that space and
 time.&nbsp;


<h4>
 #9.
 Develop healthy coping mechanisms for stress, anger, and sadness.
</h4>


 During your transition, you will be facing a lot of emotions that you haven’t
 experienced before, or you are experiencing alone. Practices like meditation,
 relaxation, and journaling are very helpful, so don’t be afraid to use them.


<h4>
 #10. Give yourself
 the space to learn and grow!
</h4>


 It’s okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are part of being human, but what’s
 incredibly important is to learn from your mistakes and apply yourself in the
 next situation.


<hr class="vertical-space1" />

10 tips for starting college

<h4>LIAA KUMAR and LAYA IYER explore the relationship between peace and our connection with the natural world.</h4>It’s an unlikely story: a lush, ecological paradise in the middle of a desert. Kanha Shanti Vanam, the global headquarters of the Heartfulness Institute, emerges from the barren landscape like a mirage. A few hundred sprawling acres of dense forest, rich soil and an abundance of greenery is situated, almost improbably, just forty kilometers outside the bustling and smog-filled city of Hyderabad.In Kanha, the trees arch gracefully overhead as they hang heavy with fruit ripe for plucking;&nbsp;stars sweep across the night sky, undiluted by any light pollution. The breeze is gentle and scented sweetly by the gardens bursting with colorful flowers weaving amongst the rows of endangered plants. Amidst it all, there is a striking sense of peace, simplicity, and profound connection with the natural world all around you.&nbsp;Kanha opened its gates in 2017 with a world-changing vision: to create a modern model of a sustainable spiritual life guided by innovative technology in conservation and ecology. It’s a global center of spirituality unlike any other, built to be a refuge not only for the soul but for nature as well, allowing people to tune into their inner and outer worlds. Looking around,&nbsp;it’s easy to forget that before the ashram was introduced to the world as a fertile sanctuary, it was home to nothing more than endless acres of dry and barren land. So how did a physical and spiritual oasis take root here?&nbsp;The first obstacle to transforming the land was enriching and nourishing the soil’s fertility. This was achieved by implementing a combination of traditional farming techniques.&nbsp;This emphasis on using natural farming methods and treating the Earth gently is rooted in the ethos of Kanha. Over the past few years, it has yielded incredibly fertile soil that is a sanctuary to the crops and gardens.&nbsp;By the time we arrived in the summer of 2022, Kanha was in full vibrant form. We had planned our visit primarily as a spiritual retreat, to recharge, reflect, and connect within ourselves. We did not anticipate the surprising role that nature and connecting with our surroundings would play in our spiritual growth that summer.&nbsp;<figure class="image"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Sustaining_soil3_5930772343.jpg"></figure>Mornings in Kanha often began with a walk, as we explored new parts of its beauty each day. But more than just morning strolls, each outing was an eye-opening lesson on the true nature and culture of Kanha. Each morning brought with it a new understanding of how powerful nature could be, and how monumental change could be created through peace and compassion.&nbsp;We began with the hydroponic farms, where the initial water constraints of the area and an emphasis on prioritizing natural techniques led to Kanha becoming a leader in innovative farming techniques. Kanha is currently home to seven hydroponic farms that are able to grow vegetation year round, without the use of any fungicides or pesticides. This culture of agriculture was vastly different from anything we had experienced in the States. We had grown accustomed to the same fruits and vegetables being available year round, which meant depending on imported produce that had been treated by pesticides and various treatments at every stage of its life cycle. Here the attitude towards produce was slower and much more purposeful. In Kanha, the natural course of the seasons determined what would grow when, and cuisine came in and out of season in time with what was growing. When you’re here it’s almost impossible to escape the draw of the ecosystem all around you. Every part of life in Kanha is intimately connected to the nature that surrounds it, even when it comes to mealtime!&nbsp;As we continued to explore, we learned that the trees lining Kanha’s pathways had been rescued from various construction and road-widening projects around the city. The Heartfulness Tree Conservation Center and the Heartyculture Nursery worked tirelessly to cultivate rare and endangered plants that were on the verge of extinction. Over six acres of land are dedicated solely to this cause, providing plenty of space for the two hundred thousand fragile saplings to take root.Like many things at Kanha, it’s an ecological project rooted in a spiritual purpose. There is a real socio-cultural, educational, and environmental value in preserving biodiversity, but there is also a spiritual one. Every unique species of flora and fauna holds irreplaceable, intrinsic value. They each play a small part in contributing to the natural balance of the larger ecosystem and thus, in preserving biodiversity, we also help to create greater harmony and balance in our natural surroundings.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Protecting our ecosystems and doing our best&nbsp; to preserve the natural world are increasingly important missions&nbsp; for all humanity as the effects of climate change become ever present.</h4><hr>That feeling of balance emanates past the garden walls of Kanha and into the rhythm of day-to-day life. Life revolves around the values of simplicity, spirituality, and connection. Everything is conserved and used to its fullest extent, from water to food waste to energy. People are mindful that when they take a full plate, they return an empty one. Water is collected along roadside canals when it rains, used in homes, and then returned to the Earth to nourish new plants in their growth. Early morning meditations were often accompanied by a chorus of birdsong, the sounds of different endangered species of birds or the pitter patter of rain during monsoon. Understanding and experiencing the different parts of these sustainability efforts created a profound sense of harmony, connection and ultimately peace within us.&nbsp;We are not the only ones to have observed this connection between sustainability and peace; in fact, it is an ongoing area of research. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2589811622000210?via%3Dihub">Hiroshima University</a> recently conducted a study which displayed the interconnected nature of “environmentalism and Positive Peace, as well as how improvements in one area can aid improvements in the other.” As we continue to tune into the natural world around us, helping it to grow and thrive, we find profound connections to something within us as well.&nbsp;<figure class="image"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Sustaining_soil2_920c9592d4.jpg"></figure>Protecting our ecosystems and doing our best to preserve the natural world are increasingly important missions for all humanity as the effects of climate change become ever present. The fact remains that abundant natural resources and secure ecosystems around the world are cornerstones of stable and healthy communities. Sometimes, thinking about the overwhelming work ahead, it can feel like a losing battle. But as we envision the world we want to live in and leave behind, we look at Kanha as a symbol of spirituality and sustainability. And most importantly, a reminder of the powerful changes that can take place when a community comes together to create peace.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL</h4><hr>&nbsp;

Sustaining the soul, nurturing the earth

Leah has a background in curriculum development and teaching, with a speciality in Social Emotional Learning (SEL) for children. She is a Certified Yoga teacher, Heartfulness trainer and the creator of "Heartful Movement," a social emotional learning program for children, blending yoga, cooperative games, relaxation techniques, and journaling.

Leah-Rich2.jpg

Leah Rich

<h4
 id="h-leah-rich-shares-her-experiences-of-an-intercultural-marriage-and-the-richness-it-brings-to-the-various-communications-that-happen-day-to-day-among-her-husband-son-and-herself">
 LEAH RICH shares her experiences of an
 intercultural marriage, and the richness it brings to the various communications that happen day-to-day among
 her husband, son, and herself.</h4>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
I want to share a fond memory of something that started when my husband, Jayendran Muthushankar, and I first met. He
 is from Chennai in India, and his mother tongue is Tamil, but he’s lived in many parts of Asia and speaks Burmese,
 Thai, and Japanese, as well as English and Hindi. While I am from the US and English is my mother tongue, I grew up
 learning Hebrew and some Yiddish. And I learned to speak Mandarin while living in China.&nbsp;
So, while we communicated in English, we quickly found ourselves introducing new words from other languages we knew,
 as they seemed a better fit for what we wanted to express. It started with introducing greetings and “good night” to
 each other in Burmese, Hebrew, Tamil, Chinese, Thai, and Japanese.
This has continued, and is also a part of our communication with our 11-year-old son. For example, our son will
 respond with “nahi” (no in Hindi) when he doesn’t want something. My husband uses the Yiddish
 “fukakt” to refer to a situation or an object that isn’t working, or isn’t quite right. He also says
 “xiexie” (Mandarin) to say thank you. And when I’m offered food, I’ll say “podum” (Tamil) to
 indicate that I’ve received enough food.
And the Burmese word “Mingalaba” means “May you be blessed.”
<hr class="vertical-space1">

The richness of many languages

Leslie is a Heartfulness practitioner and trainer living in the US. A retired editor, she knows that words—as hard as she may try to find the right ones—are inadequate to express our most treasured experiences and connections. But she keeps trying!

Leslie-Blair.webp

Leslie Blair

<hr class="vertical-space1">
Take the love in the touch, it doesn’t matter very much 
if the hand is perfect or the skin is rough.
Take the laugh in the cough and the drenching of the rain, 
there is humor in our troubles and it serves to keep us sane.
Take the rest in the night, leave your worries in your shoes. 
In the morning shake them out and don’t listen to the news.
Take time with a neighbor, she’ll have news enough to share. 
You can ruminate together and find contentment there.
Take the lesson from the error, without carrying the past. 
Keep the best it had to give you, nothing more was meant to last.
Take heart: When everything you tried seemed not to be enough, 
your part was matched and multiplied if love was in the touch.
<hr class="vertical-space1">
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Poem by LESLIE BLAIR</h4>
<hr>

Take heart

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">LESLIE BLAIR shares the profound nature of a dream, which she almost missed. How often do we receive these gifts without realizing it?</h4>The dream caught me napping on a sad Sunday afternoon, the kind of dream you can count on one hand even after seven decades of dreaming, the kind that maybe wasn’t a dream after all, but a visitation.I almost missed it—a choir of voices, celestial music already receding, my consciousness hurtling through space, away, back from the dream and the voices—my mind trying desperately to slow the return and capture the unspeakably beautiful melodies and harmonies.In the instant that was left, I realized the music would be lost. But there were words! I hadn’t noticed them before, and I caught the last ones I could hear.Coming back to wakefulness, I hurriedly reached for pen and paper and wrote them down: “Let thy soul be couched in merest gladness.”Not being accustomed to this kind of language, my rough interpretation went something like this: “Let your soul be hidden in the least bit of gladness.”In no way did this match the exquisite beauty of the music I had heard. Feeling terribly disappointed, I went to the dictionary in hopes of finding something better. It did not disappoint.These are the definitions I found: Couch—to express, to reveal. Mere—pure, unmixed.The celestial code was cracked. The message read: “Let your soul express itself in pure, unmixed gladness.”A message from a heavenly realm brought down to earth by an everyday dictionary. Who can say where help will come from?&nbsp;

Dream choir

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">LESLIE BLAIR went from seeing death as a tragic endpoint to valuing the ongoing relationship with a loved one and the ongoing journey of the soul. She shares that journey with us here.</h4>&nbsp;For a long time after my mother passed away, I continued to struggle with difficult emotions surrounding her loss. I wrote to my spiritual teacher, Chariji, whose reply gave me a path forward at what seemed like a dead end. He wrote, in part: “Now you must pray for the peace of her soul. In this will be your true service to her.”I was struck by the thought that I could actually be of service to someone dear who was no longer alive on this Earth. I had no idea how to pray for the peace of a soul, but Chariji had given me a task—both challenging and promising—something useful and positive to focus on and incorporate in my daily meditation practice. It was the start of a journey in prayer that would, over time, come to include the remembrance of other loved ones.At some point along the way, my feelings of bereavement and bewilderment began to take the shape of a song. Searching for the right words became a seemingly endless process, one that defied completion, but it has yielded a growing assurance that love is stronger than death, and that our connection with those who have moved on continues to grow—no doubt in a different way and perhaps in a different realm, one that awaits us with open arms.The song was written in the first person, but I’ve always wanted it to ring true for others as well. May it resonate with your own songs of comfort, connection, and healing.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/here_hereafter2_4d6b235d1a.webp" alt="here-hereafter2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_here_hereafter2_4d6b235d1a.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_here_hereafter2_4d6b235d1a.webp 801w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/here_hereafter2_4d6b235d1a.webp 801w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;<h3 style="text-align:center;">Wherever We Are</h3>I will reach for you, I’ll remember you,&nbsp; and I know I’ll find your touch everywhere. There’s a part of you in everything I do,&nbsp; but the smile I knew no longer waits there.They say there’s a road to where you are—&nbsp; it’s not on the map, but it can’t be too far. If you’ve gone to stay, there must be a way to where you are.In a hidden world, hard to see or touch, another life is calling you home. So I send a prayer to see you safely there&nbsp; as your soul returns to its own.They say there’s a guide where you are,&nbsp; to show you the way like your own shining star. There must be a friend, true to the end, where you are.We reach for a hand, gentle and strong, to comfort and mend us and shepherd us along&nbsp; a well-traveled path crossing the night, where storms of the heart make way for redeeming light.When a sudden shower washes the earth and sky&nbsp; and a brighter world shimmers through, heaven reaches down, hovering all around, and I know its promise is true:&nbsp;Love is the way to where you are— &nbsp; it comes like the rainbow, spanning far, out of thin air, connecting us, wherever we are.A shower of light, a rainbow of tears,&nbsp; will shine through the night to quiet our fears. The love that we share embraces us&nbsp; wherever we are.Our love is a prayer, blessing us&nbsp; wherever we are.&nbsp;

From here to the hereafter

Leslie Lyons

<hr class="vertical-space1">
As I watch my daughters 
navigate an imperfect world, 
a world that is cruel and 
at times crushing, 
I see them searching for the light 
as a way of being.
They are advocates for their own souls.
What better way to be is there in all the universe? 
They are oriented toward success and service 
as creators, 
as spirits of possibility and 
as stewards of compassion. 
I am paying so much attention to them. 
What I can witness and appreciate 
is more powerful than what I can teach them now. 
But I still want to share what I have learned and 
collected here. Yes, it is a sharing, not a teaching as 
I feel that I am still so early on this journey. I am still learning.
A spiritual life is critical to balance and grow in this life. 
This is both intuitive and scientifically true, I have learned. 
We are energy, we are vibration. 
There is a hum in the universe that we can meet, 
that we can match and align ourselves with and be whole.
How absolutely blissful is that? 
The most ancient language we have on Earth – 
Sanskrit – even has a phrase for this. It is 
SAT CHIT ANANDA, the place of blissful truth. 
Truth bliss.
Let us be there together.
Love, 
Mama
<hr class="vertical-space1">
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Poem by LESLIE LYONS</h4>
<hr>

Poem for my daughters

lia-hills.webp

Lia Hills

Stories

Liaa is a sophomore at the University of Texas, majoring in Economics and Computer Science. She enjoys running, reading, and baking. She’s passionate about making mental health resources more accessible, has created two mental wellness apps, and has conducted research to explore the ways in which technology can help make the mental health journey more accessible and personal for all. 

Liaa-Kumar-scaled.jpg

Liaa Kumar

<h4
 class="block-heading"
 id="h-liaa-kumar-lost-her-mother-to-cancer-when-she-was-a-teenager-now-she-s-helping-others-by-volunteering-at-kesem-an-organization-that-helps-children-of-cancer-patients-to-develop-resilience-confidence-and-lasting-feelings-of-joy-and-hope-her-story-of-grief-and-hope-will-touch-your-heart"
 >
 LIAA KUMAR
 lost her mother to cancer when she was a teenager. Now she’s helping
 others by volunteering at Kesem, an organization that helps children
 of cancer patients to develop resilience, confidence, and lasting
 feelings of joy and hope. Her story of grief and hope will touch your
 heart.
 </h4>

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 
 Life stopped being normal two weeks before my eighth grade graduation,
 when my mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer. At 13, I didn’t know
 much about cancer, and I didn’t know how to understand the heaviness
 with which the adults around me whispered, “Stage four.” My mother began
 chemo that summer and decided to undergo treatment overseas, in India,
 with the support of family. I went with her.
 

 
 As a kid, you take the idea of having a parent for granted. It’s a given
 that your parents will stick around, that they’ll always be strong,
 always be ready to take care of you. And even as I began to understand
 the gravity of my mom’s diagnosis, I believed more than anything that
 this was temporary. I knew my mom, she was indescribably strong, she was
 my rock, so of course she would be okay. She would be okay because I
 needed her to be okay. That’s what moms do. They look out for their
 kids. Always.
 

 
 That summer I spent a lot of time in small cold rooms, trying to
 understand the ways in which my mom was changing. No one warns you about
 how much cancer takes from the people you love. Her body withered, and
 chemo left dark streaks on her skin that ran up and down her arms and
 legs. She felt nauseous most of the time, and making sure she was eating
 enough became an everyday worry.
 

 
 I supported her body as we inched our way up and down the handful of
 stairs outside the hospital. Sitting across the floor from your mom, a
 row of orange pill bottles lined up between you, begging and bargaining
 for every pill or protein supplement that had to be taken, turns your
 world upside down.
 

 
 My mother and I became closer. In between the stress and sadness we
 watched movies, played card games, practiced tying her head scarf in
 different ways around her newly bald head, and talked. We did a lot of
 talking. Mostly we talked about what we’d like to do once this whole
 nightmare was over. Fly to Europe, visit a monastery in the Himalayas,
 finally go to the beach again. It was difficult to say goodbye at the
 end of the summer. It was difficult to leave her behind and face the
 idea of beginning high school without my mom, but even as I said
 goodbye, I knew it would only be a matter of time before she came back
 and everything would be normal again.
 

 
 Without my mom at home, I had to learn a lot of things on the fly.
 Suddenly, there was no one at home to wake me up in the morning, remind
 me to clean my room, do my laundry, or make my lunch. I learned how to
 grocery shop and the basics of housekeeping, and I missed my mom very
 much. The responsible parts of growing up aren’t much fun, especially
 when they’re all crammed into the span of a few months, and especially
 when it feels like the people around you don’t really understand what
 you’re going through.
 

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 <hr />

 <h4 class="has-text-align-center block-heading">
 The responsible parts of growing up aren’t much fun, especially when they’re all crammed into the span of a few months, and especially when it feels like the people around you don’t really understand what you’re going through.
 </h4>

 <hr />

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 
 I spoke to my mom a few times a week, on the rare occasions she wasn’t
 in chemo or exhausted from chemo. I felt like she was slipping away even
 through the phone, and I’d hold it closer to my ear as if that’d bring
 her back. The good news that kept me going was that she was doing
 better. A miraculous feat for someone who had been diagnosed so late. I
 knew it was temporary, she was going to get better, and she was getting
 better. Until she wasn’t.
 

 
 My mom passed away near the end of my freshman year, and it felt like an
 unsatisfactory end to a draining emotional affair. Grief is its own
 monster, but so is the entire process of losing a loved one to cancer.
 Most kids don’t spend their adolescence worrying about hospital bills,
 doctors’ appointments, or a parent’s white blood cell count. It can be a
 very isolating experience.
 

 
 Most people can understand loss, but not everyone understands what
 cancer feels like. So, at Kesem we remind the kids that they still
 deserve to be kids. We remind them they’re not in this alone.
 

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 <hr />

 <h4 class="has-text-align-center block-heading">
 At Kesem we remind the kids that they still deserve to be kids. We remind them they’re not in this alone.
 </h4>

 <hr />

 <hr class="vertical-space1" />

 
 I am so incredibly grateful that I’ve found this organization and these
 people, that I have the opportunity to help these strong, wonderful,
 amazing kids. And I am so incredibly excited that you may decide to join
 us. We’re gonna do great things this year! I can’t wait.

Home› Contributors