AMRUTA PATEL is a student at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine. She has been studying Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication and Heartful Communication for the last several months. Here, she describes an experience volunteering at one of the COVID-19 vaccination centers in London, where she was able to apply her newfound communication skills in a challenging situation.
How Communication Changes Lives
I have been volunteering at the COVID-19 vaccine centers in London on some of my days off, and what an experience it has been! After a year of stunted conversations over Zoom and carefully extracting myself from situations with too many people, I found myself in a massive hall welcoming hundreds of strangers on their way to getting their jabs. It was overwhelming, exciting and sobering to be a part of this group effort to help combat the virus.
During one of my shifts, I was working in the post-vaccine waiting area, checking on people to see if they were feeling well during their compulsory period of observation before they could leave. Everything seemed to be going well, and most people were largely positive about the experience, while some were still nervous about the vaccine and its effects. The mood was light and the vibrations happy, when suddenly a man marched into the room, anger and frustration rolling off his shoulders in palpable waves. He exclaimed, “I refuse to wait! I’ve waited 45 minutes already for this bloody jab,” as he rushed past the paramedics.
I put my hand up and said, “Sir, please wait for a while so …” and was promptly knocked to the ground. I still don’t believe he meant to do it. I think I was just in the way, and my arm a bit too close to his frame. He moved with such force and energy that the momentum pushed me over. The only thing I felt in that moment was shock, as I turned and watched him stride out of the room. Not even a moment’s pause to apologize! But then I centered myself and thought, “Everything is all right. You are fine and no one was hurt.”
When I told this story later, my family was upset at the aggression shown towards me. He could have stopped and helped, or at least said thank you to the people who took time out of their days to volunteer. But perhaps we should ask the question, “Why did he do it?”
I did not have to see this situation as right or wrong.
I could feel
compassion toward someone
without letting their behavior or situation
upset me or my mood.
From what I observed in the few moments I spent in his orbit, he was wearing paint-splattered clothes usually seen on contractors or workmen. In addition, the vaccination process was running a little late and appointments were delayed that day. Perhaps he had a job to get to, or perhaps his manager was phoning him to ask why he had not arrived for work yet. If he was paid by the hour, perhaps the delay was affecting his ability to make a steady income in an already-tough economic climate.
I have no idea what was going through his head that day, but I have learned to look for the drivers behind someone else’s actions and words. In doing so, I could remove myself from the situation and empathize with his potential predicament. You would think that after eight hours on my feet I would have felt incensed and irritated by the whole event, but I left my shift that day feeling completely happy and fulfilled. I had contributed to something much bigger than him or myself and had thoroughly enjoyed doing so.
I did not have to see this situation as right or wrong. I could feel compassion toward someone without letting their behavior or situation upset me or my mood. I cannot think of a more useful way of interacting with the complex and dynamic world that surrounds us today.
