Kung Fu Panda

Loneliness

Kyle has been a prolific guest speaker, inspiring audiences with his unique blend of comedy and transformation. In addition to leading his own Evolving Out Loud events, he has spoken with Eckhart Tolle, Jim Carrey, Michael Beckwith, Louis CK, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Mary Morrisey and David Wolfe, among others. He was previously a headlining comedian and has appeared often in TV and movies. He will soon be in print as well with Beyond Word Publishing.

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Kyle Cease

Kyle is a board certified nurse practitioner with focus in Cardiovascular and Palliative Care. She is also a Heartfulness practitioner and trainer.&nbsp;

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Kyle Rajagopalan

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">SANJAY RAJAGOPALAN and KYLE RAJAGOPALAN of the Harrington Heart and Vascular Institute, University Hospitals, Case Western Reserve School of Medicine, Cleveland OH, USA, have been exploring the interface between cardiology and the spiritual understanding of the heart’s role in our lives. They bridge the ancient and the modern scientific in a way that can revolutionize the lives and work of medical professionals.</h4>&nbsp;For a long time, scientists thought emotions and feelings came only from the brain. But they now know that the heart plays a big role, too. This new understanding could change the way we think about emotions and consciousness, seeing the heart not just as a symbol, but as an organ that directly influences how we feel. This idea places the heart at the center of empathy, compassion, and love, which can be viewed as our deeper awareness of feelings.An ancient Sanskrit hymn called the Narayana Suktam, which dates back over 7,000 years, describes the heart as the gateway to awareness. In one verse, the heart’s location is described as “below the Adam’s apple, a hand’s width above the navel, shining brightly like a great home, surrounded by garlands of flames.”1 The next verse speaks of the heart’s connection to the nervous system, describing it as “encircled by nerves, with a lotus-shaped bud pointing downward, holding a subtle space inside where the foundation of everything exists.” This hymn offers a unique view of the heart, blending both its physical location and its spiritual significance with the nervous system.The connection between the heart and the brain has evolved significantly since the ideas of French physician Claude Bernard, who highlighted their relationship in 1865.2 While he acknowledged the heart's role in emotions, he believed it was secondary to the brain’s influence. Bernard suggested that when our brain perceives external stimuli, it triggers physiological changes in the heart—like an increased heart rate—through neural connections. This change in heart function, in turn, helps us become aware of our emotions, such as anxiety or fear. For instance, imagine walking alone at night and hearing a sudden noise. You are startled and your heart might race in response to rapid reflexive neural connections between the brain and heart, often before you even consciously register fear. This demonstrates how the heart’s physiological pumping response, while secondary to “fast” responses to stimuli from the brain, may precede and influence our emotional awareness of a physiological state.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">This demonstrates how the heart’s physiological pumping response, while secondary to “fast” responses&nbsp; to stimuli from the brain, may precede and influence our emotional awareness of a physiological state.</h4><hr>Today, the medical understanding of the heart is far more sophisticated. We now see it as more than just a pump; it’s a complex, well-connected organ with its own nervous system. A bi-directional communication between the heart and brain creates a seamless integration of emotions and physiological responses.3 In many cases, signals emanating from the heart precede that of the brain and also override them. For example, proteins and other molecules released by the heart secondarily influence brain activity.4Think about the feeling of warmth and openness you experience when you see a loved one. This sensation, often felt in the chest area, might be the heart’s way of communicating feelings of love and connection to the brain. This sensation may be more than just a psychological response; it could be rooted and originate in the heart itself. While the brain processes and interprets these feelings, the heart plays a vital role in generating them. This shift in understanding highlights the heart’s importance in our emotional lives, suggesting that our feelings may be more heart-centered than we previously thought.Heartfulness offers a fascinating perspective on the connection between our thoughts and feelings, blending ancient wisdom with modern understanding.5 In spiritual terms, chakras are energy centers in our body that influence our spiritual energy. In the Heartfulness tradition, there are 16 chakras—3 lower chakras, 5 chakras in the Heart Region, 7 chakras associated with the Mind Region, and 1 chakra beyond the heart and mind, known as the Central Region.The relationship between the heart and mind helps explain how our thoughts can affect our feelings. It’s believed that our thoughts start from a deep inner space (sometimes called the “chit lake or consciousness lake”), located near the forehead, and then travel down to connect with the chakras in the Heart.6<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Many spiritual traditions suggest that&nbsp; we should pause, feel with our heart,&nbsp; then think before reacting.&nbsp; This heart-centered approach allows us to bypass&nbsp; quick judgments and automatic responses shaped by our past. Instead of reacting from a place of fear or pain,&nbsp; we can respond with greater empathy and understanding.</h4><hr>This flow of thoughts from the mind can sometimes counter-intuitively disrupt our ability to truly feel, as the judgment or analysis of a situation may sometimes precede feeling. Consider a time when you reacted impulsively to a stressful situation, perhaps saying something you later regretted. By pausing to connect with your heart, you might have responded with more empathy and understanding.These insights can help us cultivate heart-based feelings like compassion and empathy in our interactions with others. When we face stressful situations—especially those that trigger painful memories or strong emotions—it’s common to react automatically, based on past experiences. However, by first connecting with our heart in the moment, we can change how we respond.Many spiritual traditions suggest that we should pause, feel with our heart, then think before reacting. This heart-centered approach allows us to bypass quick judgments and automatic responses shaped by our past. Instead of reacting from a place of fear or pain, we can respond with greater empathy and understanding.By entering this “subtle space” of the heart, we tap into a deeper awareness that connects us to others and to universal consciousness. This practice enhances relationships and promotes personal growth and healing. Ultimately, it teaches us that, even in challenging moments, we have the power to choose compassion over reactivity.&nbsp;<figure class="image"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/beyond_the_beat2_318c05cb3a.webp" alt="beyond-the-beat2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_beyond_the_beat2_318c05cb3a.webp 117w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_beyond_the_beat2_318c05cb3a.webp 375w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/medium_beyond_the_beat2_318c05cb3a.webp 562w," sizes="100vw"></figure><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">By entering this “subtle space” of the heart,&nbsp; we tap into a deeper awareness that connects us to others and to universal consciousness.</h4><hr>For many <a href="https://heartfulness.org/in-en/wellness-retreats" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">healthcare</a> providers, especially those facing life-and-death situations, showing empathy and compassion is essential. However, the prevailing tendency to view patients primarily as clinical cases can create a disconnect between the heart and the mind. Relying solely on analytical thinking often limits the compassion and empathy that patients truly seek.Incorporating heart-centered skills into every physician’s toolkit can bridge the gap between clinical analysis and <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/silence-and-compassion" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">compassionate care</a>. This approach not only improves patient experience but also promotes a more holistic understanding of health, ultimately enriching both the caregiver’s and the patient’s experience.For clinicians, integrating heart-centered attention into their practice may require effort and practice, but the benefits are significant. When we engage our hearts, it can provoke the right thoughts. By allowing our feelings to guide our thoughts, we can produce more compassionate and relevant responses.<figure class="image"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/beyond_the_beat3_105099d14a.webp" alt="beyond-the-beat3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_beyond_the_beat3_105099d14a.webp 208w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_beyond_the_beat3_105099d14a.webp 500w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/medium_beyond_the_beat3_105099d14a.webp 750w," sizes="100vw"></figure><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">When we engage our hearts,&nbsp; it can provoke the right thoughts.&nbsp; By allowing our feelings to guide our thoughts,&nbsp; we can produce more compassionate&nbsp; and relevant responses.</h4><hr>Taking a moment to pause and approach patient interactions with a heart-centered mindset can transform the encounter into a deeply healing experience. Patients often pick up on these heart-centered vibes, as they are particularly attuned to the emotional frequencies emanating from their caregivers. This connection fosters trust and strengthens the doctor-patient relationship.Over time, for caregivers, a heart-centered approach can become a form of practice or “sadhana,” leading to higher levels of conscious action. Just as a skilled musician harmonizes different notes to create beautiful music, a heart-centered approach harmonizes our thoughts and feelings, leading to a more fulfilling and compassionate life.<h4 style="text-align:justify;">References</h4><ol style="list-style-type:decimal;"><li>Narayana sukta [Internet]. Wikipedia 2024 [cited 2024 Jun 26]; available from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Narayana_sukta&amp;oldid=1217270843">https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Narayana_sukta&amp;oldid=1217270843</a></li><li>Bernard C. Lecture on the physiology of the heart and its connections with the brain, delivered at the Sorbonne, the 27th March, 1865. Tr. by J. S. Morel. [Internet]. Savannah, Purse; 1867 [cited 2024 Jun 26]. Available from: <a href="http://archive.org/details/39002086349314.med.yale.edu.">http://archive.org/details/39002086349314.med.yale.edu.</a></li><li>Giannino G. et al., 2024. The Intrinsic Cardiac Nervous System: From Pathophysiology to Therapeutic Implications. Biology 13:105.</li><li>Daniele G. et al., 2020. Heart and Brain: Complex Relationships for Left Ventricular Dysfunction. Curr Cardiol Rep. 22:72.</li><li>Patel K.D., 2023. Spiritual Anatomy: Meditation, Chakras, and the Journey to the Center. Grand Central Publishing.</li><li>Patel K.D., 2023. The Eighth Chakra: Surrender, Spiritual Anatomy: Meditation, Chakras, and the Journey to the Center. Grand Central Publishing.</li></ol>

Beyond the beat

Lady Bird Johnson

Shaped by Belief

Lailah Gifty Akita

Your heart will guide

Universal consciousness

Giving

Lakshmi Gaddam

Guidance

Lalaji was born in 1873 in north India. He was the first Heartfulness Guide, as well as being a great sage and a spiritual scientist of the highest caliber. He was a family man of perfect human etiquette and civility. Lalaji rediscovered the ancient art of yogic Transmission, which is the specialty of Heartfulness. He thus revolutionized meditation so that all interested seekers can reach the highest approach. His discovery defines the modern era of spirituality.

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Lalaji

<h4>Back at the turn of the 20th century, the great yogi RAM CHANDRA
 (LALAJI) shared some tips about communication with his associates in a small town of
 northern India. Today these principles are even more relevant in corporate boardrooms, parliaments, universities and
 school classrooms the world over. Imagine if we could all follow this approach to communicating with others! The
 world would be transformed.</h4>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
The style of speech should be devoid of rise and fall in pitch. On the contrary, it
 should be like the divine current, flowing evenly since the beginning of creation. I had copied just that and
 innumerable are its benefits, beyond the possibility of narration. This is a philosophy, that when the flow of
 conversation proceeds in conformity with Reality, there develops a state of harmony between the two. Through that
 harmony, the divine way starts developing automatically. This results in effectiveness, as whatever is spoken goes
 on touching the hearts of others. In other words, a sort of relationship with the current of Reality is established.
 When a relationship is created, effectiveness has to be there. If we copy it, only those words will flow during
 conversation that are intended and are right.
To achieve this, we first of all try to remove the rise and fall in the voice while
 speaking, which is also called sharpness. This flow of speech will go on acquiring harmony with the current of
 Reality, to the extent that such a reduction is achieved progressively. By ‘sharpness’ I do not only imply anger,
 which is very heavy and should not be allowed at all in this context. What I mean is that the flow of speech should
 not carry any kind of weight in it. An illustration of this is a current of still air. It is very difficult to
 achieve, but everything is possible through sustained effort and courage, if the Grace of the Guru is there. The
 balanced condition of mind is an expression of the right attitude in all our activities, under varied circumstances.
 In a broad sense, it is the reflection of our character. It has a deep impact and a favourable influence on those
 people who are associated with us. It reveals itself in conversation, which can be either serious and long or light
 and short. Such conversation is devoid of excitement or any high-pitched emotional outburst, and devoid of any
 rapid, short-tempered and moody reaction. It is a prompt, methodical and civil expression of the self, and it is
 soft, cultured and smooth like the harmonious descent of Divine Grace.

<hr>

<h5 style="text-align: center;">The balanced condition of mind 
 is an expression of the right attitude 
 in all our activities, 
 under varied circumstances.
</h5>

<hr>

A person whose tongue is polite, civilized and cultured, has a large, pure and noble
 heart, and thus has a wide sway over the minds of others. The pure heart, in communion with the Base or the Source,
 pours itself forth naturally with nobility, magnanimity and love. It leaves an impression immediately, and
 progressively makes deep inroads and establishes itself in the minds of all. But ambiguity and indecision are not to
 be encouraged. A civil tongue is a prerequisite to achieve the goal of human life. A cultured tongue rules the
 kingdom of the heart. A polished tongue in discourse or conversation influences humanity and reigns supreme.
<img decoding="async" alt="Principles of Conversation" 
 class=" has-img-center lazyload "
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Principles_of_Conversation2_3b3fe07e90.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T12:35:12.088Z">

Anger is a poison to spirituality. Unless we are free from this plague, moderation can
 never be obtained. The effect of anger is that the system becomes heavy and tension is produced. There will be
 continuous pressure on thought. This human frailty leads to loss of self-respect and individuality, and results in
 unhappiness. This does not allow the free and subtle current to enter; in other words it restrains the flow of
 Divine Grace. If anger is overcome, and a nasty and short temper is avoided, there is scope for the attainment of a
 balanced condition of the mind. The greater the control over it, the freer and more bounteous is the celestial gift.

<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">A civil tongue is a prerequisite 
 to achieve the goal of human life. 
 A cultured tongue rules 
 the kingdom of the heart.
</h5>
<hr>
It is a pity that this important and essential principle of the use of the tongue in the
 inevitable and constant activity of man is often overlooked and neglected. It is also unfortunate if the Divine Guru
 is held responsible for any lapse. It is no doubt very difficult to control the mind.
To free ourselves from anger, we should think ourselves to be polite and humble. Nay, we
 should try to make ourselves such that the same color enters each and every part of the body. A cool and calm
 disposition alone is required for spirituality. The heart is so tender that it begins to droop even by the slightest
 circulation of wind.
When we rise to some height, lowness is also within our sight to the same extent. This
 is a secret of Nature. If, while remaining glued to the Master, we make high advancement and yet feel low, is this
 not a state? The cause of this I have just stated. Our passion should be: whatever is there is Thine! And when it is
 thus, where is the occasion for regret?
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">The technique of developing softness 
 is to create extreme humility in temperament, 
 so that it is filled with such a sentiment of love 
 as to have no inclination to 
 cause any hurt to anyone’s heart, 
 and the words are also such as not to 
 hurt anyone’s heart in the least.
</h5>
<hr>
When we are satiated with something, we no longer derive pleasure from it to the same
 degree as earlier. By and by we come to treat it as something ordinary. Just this is to be known as the state of
 regret or the fallen condition. Apart from that, lying low is better than a perch up. Herein lies devotion and
 therein rests the idea of perfection.
What more than this is there for me to tell? When we have lost all sense of our own
 significance, and are devoid of ego-consciousness in any form, direct or indirect, then whatever we do will be just
 what we ought to be doing. This condition, if bestowed by God, is the best of all conditions. Everyone ought to try
 to arrive at it.
The technique of developing softness is to create extreme humility in temperament, so
 that it is filled with such a sentiment of love as to have no inclination to cause any hurt to anyone’s heart, and
 the words are also such as not to hurt anyone’s heart in the least.
Excerpt from Complete Works of Ram Chandra,&nbsp;Vol. 4, 2018, Shri Ram
 Chandra Mission, India.&nbsp;
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by RAM CHANDRA (LALAJI)</h4>
<hr>

Principles of conversation

Our heart

The soul of this world

This world is like our bodies

The kingdom of the heart

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Lao Tzu

Nature

The best type of leader

Have few desires

Dr. Otis is Professor of English at Emory University. Her research has been supported by MacArthur, Guggenheim, Fulbright, and Humboldt Fellowships. She is the author of non-fiction and fiction books, including Banned Emotions, Rethinking Thought, and The Memory Hive.

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Laura Otis

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">LAURA OTIS is a Professor of English at Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia. She integrates scientific and literary thinking, and is especially interested in multisensory imagery and emotions. Here she is interviewed by KASHISH KALWANI, a former student of Professor Otis, about the ethics of care.</h4>&nbsp;Q: Welcome, Professor Otis. Could you please share a little bit about your background and your interest in ethics and care?&nbsp;LO: At university, I studied biochemistry and neuroscience. Then I had a huge crisis, and ended up with a Ph.D. in comparative literature. So my research and teaching involve the intersection of literature and science. I became interested in caregiving because my mother developed early onset dementia in her early 60s, and that led to an interest in seeing how caregiving is represented in stories, novels, and plays, how people create narratives around caregiving, how realistic they are, and the ethics involved in representing caregiving. That’s what brought me to the course at Emory.Q: How do you find that literature and neuroscience have formed your understanding and approach to care and ethics, in academics and everyday life?LO: Literature and science evoke compassion in different ways. Science reminds us of what we all have in common. A lot of people in literary studies think that everything is influenced or even determined by culture and language, but when you think about how brains work, you realize that anyone’s brain can develop problems.&nbsp;As we age, we develop similar problems. Seeing the things that can go wrong with the human nervous system evokes tenderness in me. I realize how precious and beautiful it is, and want to take care of it, not abuse it. When I see someone who has trouble moving or thinking, I think that everything wrong with that person’s nervous system could go wrong with mine, or with anybody I know. Science is a reminder of what we have in common.&nbsp; Literature opens my mind to different ways of looking at care giving and understanding or experiencing disease that might not otherwise have occurred to me.Q: This conversation is especially relevant with climate change, wars, economic crises, homelessness, and more. In your opinion, what would be the key ethical responsibilities of leaders when it comes to caring for others, in community, organizational, and family settings?LO: First, make sure that you’re well informed, not just listening to yes-people. Nowadays, we have good information about how people are living in communities, involving feedback from the community groups. Be open and willing to listen to what’s happening.&nbsp;There are different political philosophies about how responsible leaders are for the welfare of others. There’s everything on the spectrum from every person for himself to the government’s responsibility for everyone. And I fall somewhere in the middle.&nbsp;Listen to people, and then be ready to muster government resources to help. It’s best and probably cheapest if done in a proactive way. Rather than waiting for the next hurricane or disaster, find out what caused so much suffering in the last disaster and keep it from happening again.Q: How do global issues such as climate change, inequality, and wars impact our ethical obligations toward care, both at an individual and collective level?LO: Countries that have contributed the most to global warming probably have a responsibility to help people who are suffering, like those whose countries are about to disappear because of rising sea levels, those who’ve had to leave their homes. Money is finite, and even rich countries may not have much money to spare. But they can take into consideration what’s going on.&nbsp;We can probably help more immigrants than we might believe. It’s not that we should open the border and let everyone come in, but we can invest more resources in processing people, evaluating whether they have a right to come.&nbsp;We need to do concrete things to help people who are affected by climate change and wars, rather than being reactive. How can we stop the causes? Can we move faster toward green energy?<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Literature opens my mind to different ways of looking at caregiving and understanding or experiencing disease that might &nbsp;not otherwise have occurred to me.</h4><hr>Q: Thank you for talking about the global scale. You said that your mother had dementia, so how did you approach her care while also dealing with your world and the world outside?LO: The worst time with dementia is when the patient is still trying to live the life they had before, not in an assisted living facility. Once the person is in an assisted living facility (if the family makes that choice), everything is easier. The transition time of deciding what we would do, where she would go to get the care she needed, coincided with me trying to get tenure in my academic career, which is when expectations are extremely high.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.29%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp" alt="taking-care2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care2_4fc84437de.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;You’re getting evaluated all the time. I was also in a psychologically abusive marriage and trying to leave. During that period, I thought very little about the world.I pulled back, so there’s a void in my knowledge of current events between 1993 and 1995. It’s a natural human response—you feel threatened, so you focus on yourself. But I don’t recommend that. The irony is that it may actually help to think beyond yourself. I know that now. I didn’t know that then.Q: What changes would you like to see in the way societies approach care?&nbsp;LO: No stigmas. No stigma for taking care of somebody yourself, no stigma in saying no. No stigma against quitting your job because you want to take care of your family. No stigma against deciding that your family member needs to live in an assisted care facility. Care choices should be open to whatever works best for the family.I would love to see the stigma taken away from assisted living, what used to be called nursing homes; no shame if a family chooses to do this because they can no longer provide the care.&nbsp;I’d like to see more affordable assisted living options. We need creativity to set that up because people are living longer, and they need care in the last part of their lives. It’s not something we can improvise.&nbsp;I feel sorry for people who don’t have the money for assisted living. They have to figure it out themselves. I’d like to see more social and government involvement in care and more affordable options.&nbsp;Q: So how do we take care of each other? How do we ask for help?&nbsp;LO: Start with the people nearest you and work outward. We learn how to treat others from our interactions with family and friends. And hopefully that knowledge continues to develop as we grow. Some people are better at it than others, but at any point in life we can learn how to treat other people. Build a network that grows ever outward. It’s most logical to start with your family and friends in your community, but don’t necessarily be satisfied with that. Keep expanding the circle.Q: I agree. It’s easier to ask someone how they would like to receive care than to ask for help ourselves, but we also need care. It’s tough because we’re raised to “have it together.” No one has time for our mess, everyone’s having a rough life, so we have to handle it on our own. We have to ask: How can I take care of myself?&nbsp;LO: That’s right. Also, I’d say, be careful asking people if they need anything, because you may not get an honest answer.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:69.24%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp" alt="taking-care3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care3_32b617cdaa.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Care choices should be open to whatever works best for the family.&nbsp;</h4><hr>We can always take better care of each other. Where there are cultural forces involved, there’s a delicate balance. In America, the idea of taking care of each other is that we’re all supposed to take care of ourselves. Some people experience an offer of help as invasive or disrespectful. If someone suddenly wants to take care of them, even within a relationship, there may be conflict. They do not want to be taken care of. There can be exploitation, too. Some people expect to be taken care of, which is not good either. Be aware of the interpersonal and cultural forces that shape the issues around care. &nbsp;I confess, I don’t respond well when people try to take care of me. I find it disrespectful. But when I’ve needed help, it hasn’t bothered me at all. I’ve been grateful. I was in a traffic accident in 2000; I was riding my bike when a truck ran over my foot. People immediately stopped what they were doing to help, and I appreciated that; I had no problem.&nbsp;It’s difficult judging when to help. When I’ve seen other people in accidents, I’ve dropped what I was doing so I could help, because I appreciated what people did for me. But I’m also sensitive to people’s pride in their privacy. All you can do is give your best judgment.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">We can always take better care of each other. Where there are cultural forces involved, there’s a delicate balance.&nbsp;</h4><hr>Q: You are the author of many books. Has there been any ethical or moral dilemma that arose within the characters and themes of your books?LO: Probably all of them! The one that comes to mind is the most recent one, Banned Emotions. The first line of that book is, “What are the politics of telling people what to feel?” It grew out of a personal story. I’d had a bad breakup, and everybody had advice about what I should do. People were telling me what to feel and in what time frame, and it bothered me. Luckily, I thought outward, rather than just getting mad, and realized how much people try to control their emotions and dictate the emotions of others. The ethical dimension for me is: What right do I have to say what another person should be feeling? I haven’t experienced what they experienced.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.98%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care4_f666631059.webp" alt="taking-care4.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care4_f666631059.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care4_f666631059.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care4_f666631059.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;I wrote about patterns and emotions like long-term simmering anger, self-pity, envy, etc., which are socially discouraged. We’re not supposed to feel them, especially self-pity. Also, the advice not to feel those things doesn’t go equally to all; it tends to go toward the people who have the least power. Women have very often been told what they should and should not be feeling.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">It’s worthwhile paying attention to your own emotions because it helps you understand other people who are feeling similar emotions.</h4><hr>One example is, “Life is not fair.” Parents tell children, prison guards tell prisoners, teachers tell students; it doesn’t move the other way. I can’t imagine a kid telling her parents, “Life is not fair,” if something happens that the parent doesn’t like. It’s like that with emotions. “Oh, you’re wallowing in self-pity,” and the person may have a very good reason to feel sorry for themself, or to feel angry. When you feel that way, it’s because you’ve experienced injustice. When you tell people, “You have no right to feel sorry for yourself, you have no right to be angry over this, you need to have positive emotions,” what you’re really telling them is to suppress their anger at injustice.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:70.94%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp" alt="taking-care5.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp 145w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/large_taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp 400w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/taking_care5_a6cf625c39.webp 400w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;That’s not going to cause justice suddenly to bloom. It’s a kind of censorship, stopping critique. Sianne Ngai at the University of Chicago wrote a book called Ugly Feelings, and she said that if you’re telling people with less power that they’re not allowed to feel certain emotions, you’re preventing social critique.Q: That is so powerfulLO: It’s complicated because people on the other side will say, “Well, what good did self-pity ever do anyone?” But if nobody seems to be on your side, it’s reasonable to feel sorry for yourself and say, “I hurt. This isn’t fair.” These are reasonable things to think, as long as they’re healing you. You’re supposed to be moving forward, you’re not supposed to hold onto things. You’re supposed to let go and move on. And if it makes you feel sorry for yourself, it may actually help you to keep going. If you never get beyond the feeling of outrage, then that’s not going to do anybody any good. If it helps you to heal, though, then why not? We don’t have a right to tell people what they should be feeling to heal.It’s worthwhile paying attention to your own emotions because it helps you understand other people who are feeling similar emotions.Q: I guess that is how we take care of each other.&nbsp;

Are we taking care of each other?

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Professor LAURA OTIS of Emory University shares with KASHISH KALWANI the list of books chosen for the course “Representation of Care in Literature,” and why those particular books are significant.</h4>Q: Welcome Professor Otis. In your course on how care is represented in literature, we discussed books like Klara and the Sun, Frankenstein, The Death of Ivan Ilyich, Beloved, and more. Each story presents a very unique perspective on ethics and care. I would like to know your thoughts on the themes in those books and why you chose them.LO: Professor Paul Wolpe and I put a lot of thought into the books, and there were many candidates that didn’t make it. The ones we chose were particularly good at representing different kinds of care, for example:<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Frankenstein by Mary Shelly</h4>We wanted to make sure we thought about care throughout the human lifespan. One dimension is parents caring for children… or not, which is what happens in Frankenstein, or failing to fulfill their responsibilities and care for their children. Frankenstein raises those questions so powerfully. You see all the rationalizations of someone who is running away from his responsibilities, and you keep wondering, “How can they think that way?”&nbsp;<h4 style="text-align:justify;">Florida by Lauren Groff</h4>I wanted to think about caregiving on a social level, not just one individual to another, not just within one family. I wanted us to read Lauren Groff’s stories, especially about homelessness in Florida. There is one about a female graduate student who ends up homeless; anyone can potentially become homeless with a certain combination of things going wrong in their life. Her story raised the issue of how we react when we come face-to-face with somebody who needs care in our community. What do we do? Is it something we should do personally, or is it something that should be done at a social level?The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo TolstoyWe wanted to look at the end of life. It was Professor Wolpe who chose The Death of Ivan Ilyich, which focuses on the very difficult transition of becoming someone who has to be taken care of. He has a servant who does most of the caring; it’s not really his family who does it.It’s What Indian Girls Do by Mary Rina ChittooranWe wanted to look at different cultures to show how very different the expectations are around caregiving. In It's What Indian Girls Do, a professor is taking care of her mother. She can’t eat right, and she doesn’t have time to sleep. I think it is her mother who says, “Well, that’s what Indian girls do.” That was the argument. There are cultures where, if you act like Frankenstein, or if you refuse to take care of your parents, you become a pariah. No one respects you. Then there are other cultures in which it is perfectly acceptable to look for a nursing home.Those are the different dimensions: beginning of life, end of life, different cultures, and then social level of care.

Exploring the topic of care in literature

Lauren Martin

You are energy, made of love

Laurie Buchanan

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<h4>LAURIE BUCHANAN explores the alchemical art of self-transformation, including
 letting go of things that no longer serve us, and how we can accept our grief and sorrow as part of our humanness
 and love for life.</h4>
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A very basic explanation of alchemy is that it transforms something common into
 something special. Derived from the Arabic word al-kimia, alchemy can be either a practice or a way of
 life:
As a practice, the focus of this ancient art is an attempt to change base metals into
 gold, making the alchemist outwardly rich, leading to financial gain.
As a way of life, the focus is on living with intention, achieving wisdom, and doing the
 work it takes to become a little more enlightened every day, making the alchemist inwardly rich, leading to inner
 wealth.
Alchemy as a way of life often includes clearing our clutter – internal and external –
 and letting go of things that no longer serve us well. This creates balance and space, a place that nurtures
 contentment, which I believe is true success.
Inner alchemy, or personal transformation, occurs at different times and speeds for
 everyone:
Early, quick, and dynamic 
 Late, slow, and measured 
 Somewhere in-between
One of the things that can have the greatest impact on our internal landscape is sorrow.
 It doesn’t discriminate; it is non-biased. Transcending all differences, it affects people of every age, gender,
 sexual orientation, ethnicity, culture, education, socioeconomic status, spiritual tradition, culture, and political
 stance. It’s part of the human experience, so no one is immune.
Sorrow is born from loss. Its razor-sharp blade cuts through the heart – the seat of our
 emotions – whether we’ve lost our job, our home, a limb, an opportunity, or a loved one.
Some of the world’s most beautiful artwork and literature come from deep places of pain
 and suffering. But prolonged or unrelenting sorrow, despair and hopelessness, can destroy.
Happiness is a feeling. It fluctuates based on external circumstances. It’s temporary,
 fleeting at best. For instance, we check the mailbox and find a notice from the tax office informing us that we owe
 a considerable sum in back taxes. For most people, their happiness level would plunge. On the flip side, we check
 the mailbox and find an unexpected refund check and our happiness level soars.
Happiness can also be a result of manufactured merriment such as going to the circus,
 watching a funny movie, or attending a party.
Different than happiness, when our lens through which we view life, our perspective, is
 governed from the inside out, the external pressures fall away and we experience joy.
Joy is a state of being. It is inexplicable peace even in the midst of turmoil. Joy is
 internal, and when nurtured and encouraged, it becomes resident, abiding, regardless of external circumstances.
There are people who suffer tremendous personal devastation yet retain a state of joy,
 inexplicable peace. Viktor Frankl is a perfect example. As a Viennese Jew, he was interned by the Germans for more
 than three years, but being confined by the narrow boundaries of a concentration camp didn’t rob him of joy. In his
 book Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it
 finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”
Joy is our inner response to meaning, to hope. Cultivating and maintaining our inner
 garden eases the struggle that exists along life’s path, and with the passage of time, sorrow can amazingly
 transform into colorful blooms of love, forgiveness, humor, contentment, gratitude, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Life is an expression of the choices we make, with each choice serving to transform us –
 subtle or obvious – body, mind, and spirit.
What area of your life could use a touch of alchemy?

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<hr>

<h5 style="text-align: center;">If our hearts are ready for anything, 
 we can open to our inevitable losses, 
 and to the depths of our sorrow. 
 We can grieve our lost loves, our lost youth, 
 our lost health, our lost capacities. 
 This is part of our humanness, 
 part of the expression of our love for life. </h5>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">—Tara Brach</h5>
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<hr>

<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by LAURIE BUCHANAN 
 Illustrations by JASMEE RATHOD</h4>

<hr>

Inner alchemy

Laya is a sophomore at Stanford University, where she studies computer science. She loves to go on hikes, meditate, read books, and play the piano. She is experienced in the full-life cycle development of multiple apps and is passionate about developing solutions in the overlap between mental health and artificial intelligence.

Laya-Iyer.jpg

Laya Iyer

<h4
 id="h-laya-iyer-is-in-her-second-year-of-computer-science-at-stanford-university-california-she-talks-about-what-motivated-her-journey-as-a-young-researcher-and-encourages-other-young-people-to-take-up-research">
 LAYA IYER
 is in her second year of Computer Science at Stanford University,
 California. She talks about what motivated her journey as a young
 researcher, and encourages other young people to take up research.
</h4>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />


 My research journey began as a freshman in high school. I spent my first year
 noticing the enormous amounts of social, academic, and athletic pressure that
 was put on students in my districts, including self-induced pressures. Since I
 understood the implications that societal and academic pressure can have on
 the mental health of students, I wanted to see if there was a way to help
 mitigate these effects. So, in order to help the people around me, I created
 an app and I evaluated the efficacy of my app so as to contribute to the
 broader wellness-research community.


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 <figure>
 <img decoding="async" width="700" alt="" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dive_research_young2_700x584_6ce4cf6738.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-13T10:23:52.124Z" />
 </figure>
</div>

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 I have been around research from a very young age – inspired by a mother who
 pursued her Ph.D. when she had three girls under 3. This molded my mind into
 an inquisitive one. Developing a sense of curiosity helped me to be excited
 about solving problems and opened up a world of possibilities and ways of
 thinking.



 But I didn’t just stop at questioning, taking actionable steps to soothe my
 curiosity. It helped make me feel like I had a bigger purpose – giving back to
 people around the world. Helping people by proposing ways to solve problems,
 and evaluating solutions fulfills me and keeps me going through difficult
 experiences.



 When I was a sophomore in high school, my school days were academically
 intense, taking three advanced science classes at once. After school, on the
 swim team, I would practice for three hours, feeling both mentally and
 physically exhausted. But, when I came home, I was rejuvenated by working on
 something that satisfied me, that I was genuinely curious about. One of the
 best things about research is that you can work on anything you are passionate
 about and develop your ideas in that area!



 After setting up my research question and getting the study approved through
 an institutional review board, I began to collect data. For me, the most
 exciting part of there search experience is seeing all the data come in, then
 analyzing and drawing patterns among the numbers. In the analysis phase, the
 data come together like pieces of a puzzle. Eventually, you have data that
 either support your initial thought process or reveal something new.



 Being a young person in research, you also provide fresh and new perspectives
 to professionals who have been working in their field for a long time. This
 introduction of a unique perspective often helps solve complex, unsolved
 problems; or at least tests out new ideas for problems that have existed for
 an extremely long time. Contributing to a larger foundation of research work
 is a gratifying experience, as your research informs the next generation of
 researchers in your area.



 Every step of the way in the research process – whether you just want to be
 involved in the ideation phase or you really enjoy analyzing the data – you
 benefit from dipping your fingers in. If you have the opportunity to work in
 research, leap at it and flourish!


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 <figure>
 <img decoding="async" width="700" alt="" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/dive_research_young3_700x584_5a269171ff.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-13T10:25:21.346Z" />
 </figure>
</div>

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