Matshona is a Canadianbased philosopher, entrepreneur, and author of books such as The Little Book of Inspiration, Creativity, The Book, 50 Lessons Every Wise Mother Teaches Her Son, 100 Lessons Every Great Man Wants You to Know, and Lalibela’s Wise Man.

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Matshona Dhliwayo

<h4>MATSHONA DHLIWAYO shares his journey of discovery about the secrets of happiness, and some wisdom on how we can all lead happier lives.</h4>When I was young, I admired old people. Now that I’m old, I admire wise people. When I was a youth, I admired strong people. Now that I’m old, I admire meek people. When I was an adult, I admired wealthy people. Now that I’m old, I admire happy people.Since the beginning of time, we humans have been pursuing singular goals, and from the executive on Wall Street to the sheepherder on the rural plains of Kenya, to the stay-at-home mother in China, we have been driven by the ceaseless desire to be happy.What we eat, wear and do are expressions of our pursuit of happiness. So are the books we buy, the shows we watch, and the relationships we pursue. But if humanity has searched for it since the beginning, how come happiness is still elusive? After all, we have gone to the moon, cured fatal diseases, and made countless discoveries in every field you can think of. Knowledge undeniably has increased, but happiness has not.&nbsp;<h5 style="text-align:center;">I came to the conclusion that, as humans being composed of mind, body, and soul, we must nurture all three to achieve our highest happiness.</h5>&nbsp;<hr>This inspired my long, uncertain journey to find out the secrets to happiness. Day after day, month after month, I sat before scientists, saints and sages – intellectual and spiritual heavyweights, ancient and contemporary. Scientists said pleasure was the key, sages said relationships, saints said work and a few said self-denial. While I found truth in many of their points, after much contemplation I remembered the story of King Solomon, who according to the Bible was the wisest and richest man in history. He had all of the above, but he despaired in the end: “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” His pursuit of happiness ended miserably, as he was focused on his mind and body but at times forgot to nurture his soul. I came to the conclusion that, as humans being composed of mind, body, and soul, we must nurture all three to achieve our highest happiness.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Mind_body_soul_cffddca5eb.jpg"> <img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/10insights_7c6c5a44a9.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-03T06:09:31.255Z">&nbsp;&nbsp;<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Article by MATSHONA DHLIWAYO</h4>&nbsp;<hr>

Happiness

Maxime Lagacé

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Maya Angelou

How do you make people feel?

Change your attitude

Be a rainbow

Loneliness

The light within

Reaching hearts

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Meenu Khurana

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">MEENU KHURANA is the Heartfulness Lounge Facilitator at one of the flagship schools of&nbsp;Delhi Government, Sarvodaya School, Sector-8, Rohini, New Delhi. She manages the relationship with the school and all volunteer teams, and here shares a glimpse of the program in action.</h4>On December 12th, 2023, the new Heartfulness Lounge was inaugurated at New Delhi’s Sarvodaya School, Sector-8, Rohini. The commencement came with the blessings of Daaji, the Global Guide of Heartfulness, and the support of Mr. Himanshu Gupta, IAS, Education Secretary of Delhi, alongside Principal Mr. Awdesh Kumar Jha and Vice Principal Mrs. Bharti Kalra.The lounge currently operates three days a week (Wednesday through Friday) from 12 to 2 P.M., offering sessions for students, faculty and parents. Initially catering to students in classes 6 to 9, the program has expanded to include Heartfulness sessions for classes 11 and 12, encompassing both the <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/heartfulness-in-schools" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">HELP program</a> and introductory meditation sessions.The lounge is supported by a dedicated team of volunteers who facilitate these programs regularly. Plans are underway to host Sunday <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/how-heartfulness-meditation-shifts-our-biofield-and-the-energies-in-a-room" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">group meditation</a>s for parents, students, and teachers at the lounge.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_school_heartfulness2_78f35adb05.webp" alt="model-school-heartfulness2.webp"></figure><hr><h3 style="text-align:justify;">Testimonials</h3>Since the opening of the Heartfulness Lounge, students have been participating in the programs conducted by the volunteers here and we have seen an increased sense of peace in the minds of those children. This reflects in their behavior as well. When there is peace in the mind, I believe that all these children will move towards success in their lives by building their own personalities. So that they can help in building a peaceful society and take the country towards progress. —Awdesh Kumar Jha, Principal&nbsp;In the lounge which has been launched by Heartfulness Institute, many things are being taught which we’ve missed in our school. Personality development courses, in which very practical topics like knowing your goal and how to achieve it, time management, power of thought, courage and self-confidence as well as connecting with oneself, etc. are taught which are useful for them as children of course, but will also prove to be very useful for their later life when they leave school.Children are very stressed at this age and face very emotional situations, so in the activities conducted in the Heartfulness Lounge, we have observed that children become more calm, their stress reduces and they are able to handle situations in a better way. We have also observed that after attending these Heartfulness courses, our children are now more confident and ready for the outside world.Thanks to the success of these courses, we have now started ‘Parvarish’ programs for parents also in collaboration with Heartfulness, the first session of which was loved by all the parents. —Bharti Kalra, Vice-Principal&nbsp;We sent the children of 11th and 12th grades, whose anxiety levels about their studies and futures had increased a lot, to the Heartfulness Lounge. The exercises that were conducted, such as relaxation and meditation, have helped develop a sense of peace as well as confidence in these children. Their focus has increased, and the hidden power within them has also come out. I have also witnessed an increased coordination in their decision-making abilities. It’s great to see how the Heartfulness Lounge has helped children develop their mind, body and soul. —Nidhi Ma’am, School Coordinator&nbsp;&nbsp;It was wonderful to experience the Heartfulness session! In just 10 minutes we felt so relaxed. In my opinion, everyone needs this. We would love to do these sessions again and again. — Parent of Sarvodaya School Student<hr><h3>Student Testimonials</h3>After regularly attending their sessions&nbsp; I noticed some positive changes in myself.&nbsp; I was able to sleep properly. —Student (Shaurya XII-B)<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_school_heartfulness3_4a43b5d8ae.webp" alt="model-school-heartfulness3.webp"><figcaption>&nbsp;</figcaption></figure><hr>It helps met me to know my ability,&nbsp; strength, capabillity and all those things&nbsp; which helps me to achieve my goal. —Student (Pritam XI-E)<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_school_heartfulness4_6fda5720b9.webp" alt="model-school-heartfulness4.webp"><figcaption>&nbsp;</figcaption></figure><hr>I was a part of the 3 day session and needless to say,&nbsp; these 3 days were more than enough for me&nbsp; to realize how just 5 minutes of meditation&nbsp; could significantly change&nbsp; the emotional course of my day. —Student (Shalvika Sharma XI-F)<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_school_heartfulness5_9407ba9b6d.webp" alt="model-school-heartfulness5.webp"><figcaption>&nbsp;</figcaption></figure><hr>&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:75%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/model_school_heartfulness6_15aecd5370.webp" alt="model-school-heartfulness6.webp"></figure>&nbsp;

A model school Heartfulness lounge

Megha is a bestselling author, film script writer, passionate educator, influencer, and ardent seeker based in Mumbai.  She is the author of The Breakthrough, Thank You, Cancer, and I Inspire among others. She has been a well-loved speaker at premier institutes like The World Confluence of Spirituality and Ficci. She received a 25 most inspiring and influential women of Mumbai award by World Women Leadership, and was featured in the top 50 most influential authors of 2021 by Delhi Wire. She loves working with fellow visionary educators and spiritualists toward the upliftment of society.

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Megha Bajaj

<hr class="vertical-space1" />
 <h4>
 MEGHA BAJAJ tells a beautiful simple
 story about a monk and his disciples, and relates this to her own
 experiences of the power of now, the present.
 </h4>
 
 <hr class="vertical-space1" />
 
 
 Stories can teach in ways that only stories can teach. For days I had held
 a question in my mind about how I can progress on the spiritual path. Last
 evening, finally, the answer came with the birth of this story. Through
 me, and for me, this story has become a milestone. A realization has
 become my realization. Perhaps, it can become yours too.
 
 
 Years ago, when finding peace was still the most important quest for all,
 there lived a great Buddhist monk. High above the mountains iced by snow,
 and sprinkled by cherry sunrays, was his little monastery. People sought
 him from all over the world. The scaling heights, the brazen winds, the
 wild animals – nothing could stop them from flocking to the monk – for
 they knew he could pave the way to peace for them. However, after a few
 days, many got restless and left. The reason? The monk hardly spoke. He
 just carried on in his usual fashion. For many, this was hard to deal
 with.
 
 
 <hr class="vertical-space1" />
 
 
 <hr />
 <h5 style="text-align: center">
 If I can learn to do what I am doing, 
 and immerse myself in it completely, 
 meditation will cease to remain a part of my day. 
 It will become a part of me. 
 And gradually, it will become me.
 </h5>
 
 <hr />
 <hr class="vertical-space1" />
 
 The great monk had a merry laugh and a twinkle in his eye. He seemed
 ancient and yet just like a child. He never invited anyone and he never
 refused anyone, and when someone did come he made sure his home was their
 home. Many came, many went – but a few, a small group of eleven, stayed
 behind. The monk knew he had finally filtered the ‘seekers’ from the
 ‘questioners’. This was the group who had left everything to find peace,
 and they wouldn’t return knowing about peace, they would return knowing
 peace ! The monk did all that he needed to in a day, while the group
 followed around, hoping to get a cue as to how they too could be in
 constant blissful union with their Lord.
 
 
 In the evenings the monk would sit under a tree, while the group gathered
 around him. Some put their head in his lap and he caressed them lovingly,
 while others were content to just watch him from afar. The seekers asked
 questions and sometimes the monk would answer at length, and sometimes he
 would choose silence to speak. Either way, the night would rise only when
 all the doubts had drowned.
 
 
 During one of those twilights, the youngest girl in the group, Mira, asked
 him, “Beloved one, tell me the secret to your peace. I want to know.” 
 Knowing that the words that would follow could change their lives the
 entire group moved closer. 
 Silence fell over them as the monk replied, “When I walk, I walk.” 
 The seekers moved closer still. They wanted to know more. They wanted to
 transform. Something told them that the answer would be revealed. The
 monk, however, spoke no more. He just sat with his eyes skywards,
 wondering at the stars.
 
 
 The seekers were disappointed. They had thought some profound, complex
 secret would be revealed. But no, the monk had just spoken a single
 sentence: When I walk, I walk. What could this mean? All of them went to
 sleep that night with questions chasing his words around … answers nowhere
 in sight.
 
 <hr class="vertical-space1" />
 
 <hr />
 <h5 style="text-align: center">
 The beauty about this moment is that when you are in it, 
 completely and absolutely, nothing else matters…. 
 All that exists is the activity that you are involved in and you. 
 Get immersed even further and nothing but the activity remains. 
 You dissolve. And in those moments, 
 when there is no ‘you’, what is, is. And that ‘is’ is peace!
 </h5>
 
 <hr />
 <hr class="vertical-space1" />
 
 The next day, the monk went about his day as always and the seekers
 followed step. As he plucked the weeds out of his tiny garden, the group
 helped. The monk smiled to himself as he sensed a peculiar restlessness in
 the air. However, no one said anything. They had already learnt that
 answers would come only when answers would come. Usually one amongst them
 would stumble upon the answer to the monk’s words and share his
 realization with all the others. The group would internalize it, ponder
 upon it, and wait until the realization became a part of them. Today,
 however, revelation didn’t seem to be in the mood of befriending any of
 them.
 
 
 The guru chuckled silently and asked the young girl, “Mira, what are you
 doing right now?” 
 Surprised by the monk’s question, she replied, “Helping you pluck out the
 weeds, beloved one.” 
 He smiled and asked, “What else?” 
 Mira spontaneously replied, “Nothing else!” 
 The monk asked, “Are you sure you aren’t doing anything else?” 
 Mira thought for a minute and said, “Well, I am thinking about your
 words.” 
 “And?” asked the monk mischievously. 
 “Umm … wondering what is there for dinner tonight,” replied Mira with a
 giggle.
 
 
 <img
 alt="walk2"
 class="img-float-left has-img-center-in-mobile lazyload"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/walk2_b21969f09b.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-04T07:05:10.602Z"
 />
 The monk smiled and said, “When I am plucking weeds, I am plucking
 weeds.” 
 And with that he went back to doing this chore with the same intensity
 that he used to meditate, or eat, or watch a sunrise, or speak with them.
 
 
 The entire group spontaneously burst into smiles. This was the first time
 that they had all understood something together. Restlessness changed into
 excitement, and within moments, excitement became peace. The little group
 of twelve – one master and eleven disciples – plucked weeds as they
 plucked weeds, that afternoon.
 
 
 Ever since this story wrote itself out, the very perspective with which I
 look at life has changed. Queen of multi-tasking, I believed I should not
 waste a single moment of my life. I packed in as much as I could in every
 second. I watched movies while exercising. I had breakfast while reading
 books. I enjoyed a sunrise while chatting on the phone. At any given point
 I was involved in at least two or three activities … and I wondered why I
 wasn’t enjoying any.
 
 
 When I walk, I walk. So simply answered the master. Since yesterday I have
 been doing this. When I ate, I ate. When I was with my husband Arun, I was
 with Arun. When I listened to music, I listened to music. Initially it
 almost appeared too difficult to do just a single thing at a time. I felt
 restless. I felt irritated. But I didn’t give up. As I pursued a single
 activity long enough and gave myself to it completely, I realized
 something within me suddenly shifted. No longer was I living in the past
 or the future – rather I fell into the coveted ‘now’, the ‘as is’, the
 ‘present continuous’.
 
 
 The beauty about this moment is that when you are in it, completely and
 absolutely, nothing else matters. The unpaid bills, the chores for
 tomorrow, the aching knee, the worrisome child – in the now none of these
 exist. All that exists is the activity that you are involved in and you.
 Get immersed even further and nothing but the activity remains. You
 dissolve. And in those moments, when there is no ‘you’, what is, is. And
 that ‘is’ is peace! It sounds almost too simple to be true, doesn’t it?
 Too commonplace. I always believed finding peace was a treacherous,
 arduous, difficult process, however I now realize that it is so simple
 that we miss it.
 
 
 I always wondered what the difference was between me and a monk. Now I
 know. Even while meditating I am thinking, planning, scratching and
 wondering. A monk, even while thinking, planning, scratching and wondering
 is meditating. If I can learn to do what I am doing, and immerse myself in
 it completely, meditation will cease to remain a part of my day. It will
 become a part of me. And gradually, it will become me.
 
 
 Usually when I write it is while sipping a masala chai, chatting on
 Facebook and checking my mails. Today, as I write, I write. I can feel the
 difference. I can almost experience you sitting beside me, a friend, a
 fellow seeker, as together we live this message: When I walk, I walk.
 
 <hr class="vertical-space1" />
 
 <hr />
 <h4 style="text-align: center">Article by MEGHA BAJAJ</h4>
 
 <hr />

When I walk , I walk

<h4>
 MEGHA BAJAJ shares a few tips on
 building healthy relationships by dealing with emotions in the right way
 and at the right time.
 </h4>
 
 There is this strange thing that many of us do in relationships. If we
 didn’t do it I believe we would have much better relationships. We
 displace our emotions from one relationship to other relationships. Does
 it sound familiar?
 
 
 Let’s say, for example, you have a husband who is very dominating. It’s
 his way or the highway, and you really don’t have much choice but to
 follow him. You have tried speaking to him, you have wept, you have done
 everything you could, but to no avail. Ultimately you resign to your
 fate and start finding ways to deal with the issues within, without
 really letting them out.
 
 
 Yet, the nature of emotions is that they are never buried dead, they are
 buried alive. You can suppress them but not for long. The pain shows up
 in your body through aches and pains or disease, and it also expresses
 itself in other relationships. These are the relationships where you
 feel the ease that the person won’t leave you, or sometimes it is with
 support staff like house help or drivers. You start behaving like the
 dominating person in your life, and project your emotions onto others to
 somehow deal with the pain. It could be your children, or your own
 parents, or anyone. The emotions from one relationship are displaced to
 another, and the people who are subjected to them have no clue why you
 are behaving the way you do – just like the way you keep wondering why
 your husband cannot be a little more empathetic.
 
 
 The problem with displacing emotions is just that – they are displaced.
 In no way does it provide a permanent solution, because somewhere you
 know that you are not doing the right thing. There is a sense of guilt,
 a sense of not feeling good enough about yourself, that hinders life
 from flowing the way it should.
 
 
 Think of some of your relationships that aren’t as beautiful as you want
 them to be. How do you deal with the negative emotions that you go
 through in those relationships? What do you do to ease yourself?
 
 
 Here are some of the positive ways I have realized to deal with the
 emotions in a dysfunctional relationship:
 
 &nbsp;
 <h4 style="text-align: justify">
 CONSISTENT COMMUNICATION
 </h4>
 <h4 style="text-align: justify">
 <img
 class="img-float-left has-img-center-in-mobile lazyload"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/about_relationship_2_d8c012d660.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T09:50:03.499Z"
 alt="about-relationship"
 />
 </h4>
 
 Although most of us may be communicating how we feel with the person
 concerned, we probably don’t do it consistently enough. We express, then
 let go, believing he or she won’t understand. Yet the secret to good
 relationships is consistent communication. Instead of blaming and
 saying, “You are …” say “I feel …”. When you express what you are
 feeling instead of blaming others, they are a little more open to
 listening.
 
 
 <img
 class="img-float-right has-img-center-in-mobile lazyload"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/about_relationship_3_aa0bb445af.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T09:50:48.069Z"
 alt="about-relationship"
 />
 
 &nbsp;
 <h4 style="text-align: justify">
 NATURE
 </h4>
 
 Nature absorbs negative emotions like nothing else. Taking a long walk
 in the garden or near the sea or mountains, as part of your daily life,
 is bound to help you clear your heart and mind of residual emotions so
 that they don’t form a chain and hurt others into the bargain.
 
 &nbsp;
 <h4 style="text-align: justify">
 WRITING
 </h4>
 
 <img
 class="img-float-left has-img-center-in-mobile lazyload"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/about_relationship_4_5cbfc38ab1.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-07T09:51:27.711Z"
 alt="about-relationship"
 />There is something incredibly healing about the writing process.
 Writing helps you to understand all that you are feeling. In a way it is
 your innermost core on paper and allows you to release and vent emotions
 that may be burdening your within for God alone knows how long. Writing
 letters to people who hurt you, whether or not you let them read them,
 helps you to deal with the emotions within the relationship.
 
 &nbsp;
 
 The world is in dire need of better relationships. A lot more love.
 Compassion. Whether someone is good to us or not, somehow we need to
 ensure that a lot of good flows from us to the world outside. Break the
 chain reaction and, in our own way, we will create a better world.
 
 <hr />
 <h4 style="text-align: center">Article by MEGHA BAJAJ</h4>
 <hr />

About relationships

<h4>MEGHA BAJAJ shares some simple tips on how to develop the capacity for intuition, which can be cultivated in daily life.</h4>For as long as I can remember, I have been an intuitive person. Whether it has been choosing people to work with, or projects to undertake, intuition has helped tremendously. Intuition is nothing but a hunch, a feeling, which may not necessarily be based on facts. You see someone, and you just know they are going to play an integral role in your life. You see another person and the caution blinkers go ballistic. “Stay away, stay away,” a siren rings in your head, for no particular reason. You just know that a certain person is going to call you on a particular day. All these are instances of intuition.So while some people are highly intuitive and base much of their decision making on it, others are not. I have been asking myself: How can I make my intuition more powerful, and how can I develop it further?Some answers that I have discovered are:First, the more the mind is quiet, the more intuition works. When the mind is a drunken monkey, running helter-skelter, objectivity cannot be attained. There is so much activity going on in the mind that the whispers of intuition go unnoticed. So, to begin with, using meditation to calm the mind and prepare it to develop intuitive powers seems a must.Second, I have come to realize that when I am in a sway of emotions, intuition doesn’t work. When I have very strong likes, dislikes, intense mood swings, it becomes difficult for the faculty of intuition to guide me. Emotions are all encompassing – and when we are feeling something, it once again becomes difficult to remain neutral and to hear the intuitive mind. A calm, emotion-free mind seems to be the first step towards beginning to tap the power of intuition.Third, I believe, is openness. Sometimes what the intuitive mind is trying to tell us goes beyond our conscious mind. Say we meet someone and the conscious mind feels everything is great. The person looks fine, speaks well, and in every way seems to be a great fit for whatever it is that we are looking for. And yet, something within doesn’t seem completely “right,” or “in place.” The intuitive mind is connected to the cosmos and knows – way beyond – what the conscious mind does. So it is important for us to be open and accepting to views contrary to what seems obvious. Only with this openness, can the intuitive mind really speak to us.Last, but not least, there are some psychic ways to develop our intuitive powers. The human body has a number of chakras and the third eye chakra, the Ajna (between the eyes), is considered to be the one connected to intuition. The sound OM is associated with balancing this chakra. When we focus between the eyes and chant OM, we activate the intuition center and allow more energy to flow there.Intuition is a wonderful tool to have. It guides. It protects. Developing this could make relationships, decision-making and hence life itself a more beautiful process. I have a hunch that you are going to agree!<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Article by MEGHA BAJAJ</h4><hr>

Developing intuition

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">MEGHA BAJAJ is a new mother. She celebrates the life-changing joy of <a href="https://heartfulness.org/ca/humans-of-heartfulness/parenting-tips-for-the-modern-day-family/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">parenting</a>, and the way the equilibrium of parental love keeps the world intact.</h4>&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:25%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/parenting4_7fc16b030b.webp" alt="parenting4.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_parenting4_7fc16b030b.webp 103w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;Mom is no longer present in physical form. And I have no regrets because I feel I loved her with every breath, with every heartbeat, while she was with me. She was unwell for a few years, and I did everything for her—from combing her hair to bathing her, from rubbing oil on her back to feeding her. I feel very complete about the relationship we shared for close to four decades of my life. Truth be told, I was her softest spot and her love for me was completely biased, irrational, and divine. I carry her crazy love with me, wherever I go.The one thing I find myself often wishing (I know the irrationality of it, but as if wishes are ever rational) is that I could have told her “Thank you” after becoming a mother. Athyasaa happened to me after my mother moved on. I now value my mother even more intensely, even more poetically, and in an even more fulfilled way than ever. I wish I could tell her all I am feeling.It takes a lot to parent a child. I used to be in a different city almost every week, creating impact through WoW, my company, in every way I could. I am a flow, and I loved to be here, there, doing this, that. I would jump into anything that felt soul fulfilling. Yet here I am, for nine months of pregnancy and nine months of looking after our daughter, where I barely step out. There are one-off breaks when I really need it, and both my father and husband Arun wholeheartedly support me, along with our wonderful staff I feel blessed to have. But I can no longer just take off. You would think it would make me feel confined, but how do I express the fulfillment I feel?&nbsp;<figure class="image"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/parenting2_b8b3058db9.webp" alt="parenting2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_parenting2_b8b3058db9.webp 168w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_parenting2_b8b3058db9.webp 500w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/medium_parenting2_b8b3058db9.webp 750w," sizes="100vw"></figure><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">We simply want to love our little ones because they are part of us— the most sacred part of us—we will leave behind.</h4><hr>It’s not about the big things, but the little things: Feeding her every meal with my own hands; planning every meeting or outing so that it’s done while she is napping. I feel that when she wakes up she should see me. Long back, I heard of a Rabindranath Tagore quote, which went something like: Love is when an infant wakes up from her afternoon nap, sees her mother, smiles, and goes back to sleep. And that’s what I want to be for Athyasaa.I read to her, though she prefers chewing books. I talk to her and she responds with coos. If she is unwell, I shed tears sometimes and she quietly holds my finger as if reassuring me that she is fine. For hours, I hold her in my lap and simply watch her sleeping face, wanting to somehow protect her even in her dreams.Arun is the most incredible dad. He simply melts watching Athyasaa and even the simplest gesture from her makes this 6’3”er giggle like a little child. They have some daddy-daughter bond that is sacred, and I simply allow them to blossom in the space they have created for themselves, which is sometimes beyond me. A man who could not function without his regular daily sleep, today waits to see his daughter’s smile and will stay up till whatever time she needs him. He’s so much softer, so much more tender, and she draws something so divine from him.I wonder why we do what we do as parents. I have never processed a single thought of what I want Athyasaa to do for me, and I am sure my parents also did not; nor you if you are a mother or father. We simply want to love our little ones because they are part of us—the most sacred part of us—we will leave behind. Athyasaa is going to be my proudest legacy, and I want the best of everything for my baby, for her to be someone who spreads bliss, love, and the abundance of all things good wherever she goes.To anyone who feels there is no love left in the world, simply sit in a park or on the beach and watch a parent with their child. The way the eyes shine, the soft smiles, the subtle pride. The feeling that here is the most beautiful part of me, in the form of my child, and I will give her or him a life far greater than I have or ever imagined. If this is not love, what is?Better still, go hold your parents’ hands and look into their eyes. Through the years of experiences, baggage, love, laughter, pain, and evolution, you will definitely find that deepest love for you shining softly forth.I believe it is this love that keeps the equilibrium of the world intact. The love that a parent feels for their child, which asks for nothing and only wishes to give everything it has.To every beautiful parent out there, thank you. How will we ever tell our children what we went through at 2 a.m. when they had fever or when we first held them? What words will we use to describe to them what we went through when those babbles suddenly became momma or daddy? All we can possibly do is smile at one another, at our shared experience of being parents and know in the deepest part of us that <a href="https://heartfulness.org/magazine/parenting-the-art-of-preserving" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">parenting</a> is probably one of the most purifying spiritual experiences we will ever know.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/parenting3_1b5881b331.webp" alt="parenting3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_parenting3_1b5881b331.webp 185w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_parenting3_1b5881b331.webp 500w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/medium_parenting3_1b5881b331.webp 750w," sizes="100vw"><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">I believe it is this love that keeps&nbsp; the equilibrium of the world intact.&nbsp; The love that a parent feels for their child,&nbsp; which asks for nothing and only wishes to give everything it has.</h4><hr>

Parenting: a purifying experience

Meghana Anand lives in the beach city of Chennai, India. She believes in tapping the hidden potential of the heart to bring out the best in her. Humanity inspires her, and through reflective writing she likes to explore the sacred depths of her being. She seeks joy and beauty in simple things.

meghana-anand-img.jpg

Meghana Anand

<h4>MEGHANA ANAND asks if we are preserving the purity, the innocence and the sense of wonder in our children as
 they grow.</h4>
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A few months ago, I shared an interesting conversation with my four-year-old. I was working at my computer, when
 he insisted on a bowl of his favourite fruit. I was more than happy to oblige – it is not every day that your
 kid demands for ‘health’ instead of the usually tabooed list of ‘junk’. As I fulfilled his ‘healthy’ demand, he
 started nibbling away, savouring every tiny bite with a look of such contentment and glee that I was forced to
 pull myself away from the screen and rested back to observe him with amusement.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Parenthood has opened up new vistas of learning in my life. 
 Rather than learning I feel it is a process of unlearning, 
 because if I wish to reach my child in the most positive and nourishing way, 
 I need to become as empty and as pure as he is. 
 I should be able to see the world through his eyes, 
 and then the best comes out of me as his mother.</h5>
<hr>
Suddenly he stopped eating and, with a matter-of-fact look on his face, said to me, “Mommy, I love God.” His
 spontaneity generated an equally spontaneous reply from me. I answered, “My dear, I love God too.” I thought the
 dialogue would end at this. But then I was caught unawares. He promptly said, “Come, then let’s go to God.” 
 I thought for a while and then said, “Okay, but you know the way better; so you will have to take me to Him.”
 Pat came the reply, “Okay, mommy, I shall take you to God tonight.”
Many books have been written on the subject of parenting – more so in the current times where the definition of
 ‘family’ has undergone a drastic shift from togetherness to isolation. Concepts like ‘nuclear family’, ‘double
 income family’, ‘single parent’ etc were unheard of even a decade ago, at least in India. They constitute the
 modern society of today. At thirty, I seem to face a generation gap with young adults only ten years younger! As
 the shadow of materialism looms large over our heads, as a parent I am concerned about my child losing himself
 in this mad rat-race towards a destiny where ambition overrides aspiration, where prosperity is measured in
 terms of monetary gains and success. My own upbringing has made me realise the need for a strong character built
 upon the foundation of inner values to face the challenges of life in a spirit of acceptance and with
 conviction.
Spirituality and mysticism have held a strong attraction for me since a very early age. In my quest of the
 mysterious and unknown, I stumbled upon a natural path of meditation based on the principles of restoring
 balance into our lives, in a world which is dangerously tipping towards a state of extreme imbalance. Walking
 this path I realise that parenting is an art of learning through experiences of the heart rather than mere
 bookish knowledge, catering to a holistic development of the child’s body, mind and soul.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Walking this path I realise that parenting is an art of learning through 
 experiences of the heart rather than mere bookish knowledge, 
 catering to a holistic development of the child’s body, mind and soul.</h5>
<hr>
Preserving what? I received one of the soundest pieces of advice from my mother when I was at the threshold of
 motherhood. She said, “Dear, remember to restore this child back to God in the same pristine condition that you
 have received from Him. Preserve with love his purity, his innocence, his sense of wonder.” With every passing
 day, these words ring louder and louder&nbsp;in my head. When I take time to pause from my ‘busy’ routine and
 decide to spend some quality time with my kid, I realise how empty he is. Empty of all prejudices and
 preconceived notions of how the world should be. He exists in the moment, and that’s it. For him there is no
 difference between good and bad, rich and poor, health and sickness. All he understands and responds to is the
 language of love – no matter who speaks it and from where it comes.
<img decoding="async" alt="" width="764" height="330" class="lazyload w-100 h-auto"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/parenting_the_art_of_preserving_8a6b37788e.jpg?updated_at=2023-03-30T12:45:44.320Z">

Once I was careless enough to use the word ‘hate’ in front of him. He immediately jumped on it, “Mommy, what is
 hate?” I really couldn’t answer this one, for the very act of trying to explain the meaning of the word to him
 would be the first step towards making him aware of its verity. Why seek knowledge where ignorance is bliss?
 This and other such instances have made me very cautious about what is being uttered or displayed before him. In
 that state of emptiness with which they are born, children are like sponges, ready to soak themselves and absorb
 whatever they are exposed to.
Another aspect that I have observed is that they learn largely by imitating and emulating. I see some of my own
 traits in my little son. So this puts back the onus on me. I have to first become what I want my child to
 become. I keep introspecting constantly to check if I, myself, posses those values that I want to see inculcated
 in him. Each time I am prompted to react to any mischief or an act of apparent indiscipline, I try to put myself
 in his shoes and get a feel of how I would like to be treated in&nbsp; that situation.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;“… remember to restore this child back to God 
 in the same pristine condition that you have received from Him. 
 Preserve with love his purity, his innocence, his sense of wonder.”</h5>
<hr>
When the heart is safe and sound, it acts as an inner beacon of light that guides us in our journey towards
 fulfilling our destinies. Inner courage and conviction develop that help us to stand against all odds. Imagine
 if each one of us, like the child, did not have the word ‘hate’ in our dictionaries! I mean, a world made up of
 such individuals would be no less than paradise. One of the most enlightening stories that I read during my
 school days is Leo Tolstoy’s Little Girls Wiser Than Men. Tolstoy beautifully conveys the message of following
 the example of the children, taking their spirit of forgiving and forgetting into our&nbsp; own hearts.
As a parent I only aspire to be an example to my child; I aspire to see the world through his eyes. As I march
 ahead in my endeavour to preserve his innocence and wonder, I discover my true self, my real identity. This
 little poem by William Wordsworth says it all:
<h3 style="text-align: center;">The rainbow</h3>
My heart leaps up 
 when I behold 
 A rainbow in the sky: 
 So was it when my life began; 
 So is it now I am a man; 
 So be it when I shall grow old, 
 Or let me die! 
 The Child is father of the Man; 
 And I could wish my days to be 
 Bound each to each by natural piety. 
 (The Rainbow is also known as the poem, My Heart Leaps Up)

<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Article by MEGHANA ANAND</h5>
<hr>

Parenting - the Art of Preserving

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<img decoding="async" class="has-img-center lazyload"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/gifts2_48c45bd5bd.jpg" alt="gifts">
<h4>
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</h4>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Sunday morning, up with the lark 
 I think I’ll take a walk in the park 
 Hey, hey, hey, it’s a beautiful day!
</h4>


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My dad used to wake me up almost every morning with these lines from Daniel Boone’s
 Beautiful Sunday when I was a toddler. The sound of his humming in my ears is one of the best and last
 memories I have of being with him.

The end of the year is special in many ways. It’s time not only for festivities and
 celebrations across the world but also for deeper reflections and new beginnings. Two years ago Christmas was more
 special than usual: it opened my heart to the joy of sharing and togetherness. The sense of belonging I gained from
 reuniting with my paternal family has helped me tide over some of the deepest fears that have accompanied me since
 childhood. Ever since I’ve been rejoicing the gifts this season has brought to me.
<h4><img decoding="async" class="lazyload img-float-left has-img-center-in-mobile"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/gifts3_00f6002c9b.jpg" alt="gifts" ">UNIQUENESS</h4>
My mother once told me, “There are as many universes as there are individuals.” Each of
 us has a definite role in existence; none is out of place. It is like a jigsaw puzzle: even if a single piece is
 missing or out of place, the picture is not complete.
A growing realization of this fact has helped me to resolve inner conflicts that are
 often reflected in the form of jealousy, competition, a sense of being deprived or wronged and so on. The more I
 live this understanding, the more I become open to receiving from the world around me.
<h4>TOGETHERNESS</h4>
<h4><img decoding="async" class="lazyload w-100"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/gifts4_46250baca8.jpg" alt="gifts"></h4>
I often like to listen to my mother-in-law’s story about how dreamy the world appeared
 to her as a little girl, from the window of her house on a rustic street in one of the suburbs of South India, until
 the day she was married.
Describing the transition she narrates, “The greatest challenge was not being able to
 attend to my individual needs and make individual decisions. I had to get along with many minds and, at the same
 time, maintain harmony among family members. The ups and downs I faced while playing the role of a mother, sister,
 aunt, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law and, as time passed, now a grandmother, has shaped me in all aspects. It has
 given me the courage of conviction and strength to experience life with full acceptance. I have begun to understand
 that every situation is just a passing cloud. We learn to handle situations without being too involved.”
Living together is an art, though it may not necessarily involve staying together under
 the same roof. The joy of togetherness is reflected in small things – in the way we reach out to each other, the way
 we accept each other, the way we recognize and regard our inner oneness despite outer differences.
<h4>SERVICE</h4>
Have you ever experienced the therapeutic nature of work? It is the only thing that
 keeps me going in the lowest or most challenging phases of life. The effect or impact is even better when, in my own
 times of struggle, I forget myself and make efforts to reach out to others. It is not easy but surely worth every
 bit of the effort! It works wonders especially when you are feeling down or depressed.
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 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/gifts5_760df86db8.jpg" alt="gifts"></h4>
<h4>THE WAY OF THE HEART</h4>
Often have I refrained from giving of myself because of fear. Fear that others may take
 advantage of me. Fear of being deprived of what rightfully belongs to me. Fear of losing my identity.
The most beautiful gift I have received this season is a reinforcement of the existence
 of the heart within. There is nothing to fear with the heart, for love is its essence. The physical throbbing heart
 is one thing, but we all have a spiritual heart capable of feeling, giving and loving infinitely. How do we discover
 it? How do we expand it? How do we live by it?
There is joy in giving. When you give infinitely, you experience happiness infinitely.
 And it’s my secret conviction that the more you give, the more you become fit and open to receiving.
As the world gears up to exchange gifts for Diwali, Thanksgiving, Milad Un Nabi,
 Hanukkah, Bodhi Day, Christmas and other traditions, I appreciate and offer thanks for the little things that make
 life so special. Please join me in celebrating this season!
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Artwork by Xuan Loc Xuan 
 <a style="color: #008080;"
 href="https://www.behance.net/xuanlocxuan">https://www.behance.net/xuanlocxuan</a>

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<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by MEGHANA ANAND</h4>


<hr>

Gifts

<h4>In this delightful interview, BHAMINI SHREE shares her journey of expression through painting – both Madhubani folk art and abstract painting – with MEGHANA ANAND. Through art, gradually she was able to manage her depression, expand her selfexpression, and also develop her art as a career.</h4>&nbsp;<hr> Q: Hi Bhamini. Tell us about yourself. How did your journey with art begin?&nbsp;BS:&nbsp;When I was in grade 8 or 9, I was diagnosed with depression. After that I started doodling. Then, one fine day when nothing was working out and I had a lot in my head and could not express it at all, my mom gave me a canvas and colors and said, “Whatever comes to your mind, start painting.” And that is how I started. I learnt Bihari Madhubani painting from my aunt. She taught me the basics and I became interested in that. That is one part.The other part is that I have always been very vocal about what I think is right and wrong. All of us have our own understanding of what is right and wrong, and there are no fixed parameters, which is why it’s a mess. I was very vocal about women’s rights, freedom, being liberated, the equality of all genders – and I was spiritual more than religious. Right now I don’t follow any religion; I am a spiritual person. So that is what I started expressing through my art.Later I did an MBA. I thought I would never be able to pursue art as a career; that I wouldn’t be able to meet ends. How was I going to live on my own, unless I had some other form of support? The truth, according to me, is that you can’t. That’s how the condition of art is in our country right now – it’s not recognized.So I told myself, “Okay, let’s see what happens!” I did my MBA, and took a job in Hyderabad. I was still emotionally and mentally not well, and I just couldn’t express myself. In the corporate space, every day was a challenge, and I would wait to go home and paint whatever was in my head. There was so much I wanted to express.I am not good at expressing myself in words, and that was creating a lot of hindrance, because in the corporate sphere you have to behave in a certain way. It was a pressure, so I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was also passionate about fashion design, so I planned my own online boutique. That’s how I started a life as an entrepreneur.I never thought I would take up art as my sole profession; but my boutique business did not do very well, so that broke me down and I had to introspect upon what I really wanted to do with my life. After a few trials, I understood that the best thing to do is what I loved the most. And I just loved colors. I wanted to express what is right. I wanted to stand for expression in any form, in whatever way I chose. I had to express myself, otherwise it was chaotic inside my head.And as a woman I want to do something whereby, even if I am not directly leading people or changing their lives, I still create some change through my art. So right now I bring out the perspectives of women, the viewpoints of women, through abstract painting. Basically I use two forms of painting: one is abstract painting, and the second is Madhubani painting.Madhubani is because I am from Bihar, and I really like the colors in Madhubani paintings. Without a word they speak so much. It’s just beautiful. If your entire room is white and you have just one Madhubani painting on the wall, it brings color to the entire room and says so much. And the deities in the paintings are not to be worshipped, they are to be adored, which is why I really like this form of art.In the abstract expressions, the major themes are about the mind, the soul, and how women see the world. I am not objectifying womanhood, but painting strong women, and who they are. So even if I paint nudity, it’s not about showing a sex object. It’s about the confidence and the freedom she feels in being a woman. We are true beings when we don’t cover ourselves. Clothes are a symbol of covering, so when there are no clothes that’s who she is. She’s fat, she’s slim, she’s fair, she’s dark, she’s a woman and she’s beautiful.I also paint the mind because I’ve experienced the way the mind works very closely. It can be chaotic; it can be beautiful.Q: This makes a lot of sense in today’s times, especially when young people are struggling to express their minds and hearts. How did your art help you come out of the state of depression that you were in during your teens? How did you find your way in life?BS:&nbsp;When we go through a mental ailment of any sort, we usually talk to psychiatrists or psychologists because we just don’t know what’s happening inside. It’s so suffocating that we can’t think, we can’t talk, we can’t be ourselves, we can’t do our daily conduct.There are a lot of things that art opens us to. The first is the choice of colors. When we paint, the colors that we choose show our current state of mind. When I am extremely angry, I would rather paint something related to fire, something blank, or something which may not necessarily be very vibrant but shows my state of mind. When I paint only because I am in the mood for painting, when I paint because I am happy and have nothing else to do, I paint something bluish. When I am creative and I think I have a lot of ideas, I paint something orange-ish, golden and purple also – a lot more colors. So the choice of colors in painting shows my state of mind.Art is infinite. Expression in the form of lines, in the form of squares, in the form of just eyes or just lips, or books, or the empty road, or a tree, or the sun, or fire, or the flow of the river, or just a woman, or the relationship between two women – expression can be anything. So when you are able to express yourself to the other, and hear the other being, it becomes your canvas. That’s your shoulder.<img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/expressions2_67a1fcf6ee.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-05T06:47:20.121Z">When you’re able to express it, the pressure inside your brain subsides to some extent. Bit by bit it comes down, because it’s all about the fact that you can’t say what you want to say. You don’t know what’s there inside and you need somebody to help you out. And when you know what’s happening inside you, you are capable and strong enough to take care of yourself.In the olden days, too, there might have been people undergoing depression. But when there were no psychologists or doctors to help them come out of that state, how were they able to do it? So it’s all in the mind – the strength, the weakness, the fragility, the vulnerability – it’s all about the mind. It’s all about training your mind.So art is one way to deal with depression or any kind of mental ailment, even loneliness. In fact, for elderly people, if their eyesight is good, I would recommend them to be involved in art, because it gives them company in their lonely times. The elderly are the loneliest people on earth today. So they have something to look forward to, they can talk to the painting. Paintings can really talk to you. They show you a mirror and talk to you.When you paint folk art, like Madhubani, it requires a lot of perseverance, a lot of patience, so you have to be calm and patient and let go. If there are slight flaws, you need to remain calm and say to yourself, “There is still hope. I can improvise this painting later.” So gradually, with due practice, it proves to be a very good form of meditation.In fact I have noticed that when my mind is blocked and there is nothing coming up, when I sit down to paint, it calms me down. It gives me a lot of space and time to think, and I don’t act weirdly or abnormally at that time. I am quiet, I am calm, and I train my brain that way. I may not consciously do this, but subconsciously this is how it happens.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Interviewed by MEGHANA ANAND</h4><hr>

Expressions - part 1

Melanie Philippides

<h4>MELANIE PHILIPPIDES inspires us to listen to our hearts and follow the body’s innate wisdom about what foods it needs and what it doesn’t need.</h4>
There is so much information available at our fingertips to guide us towards healing, but there are also so many diets out there that it is often hard to discern which one is right for you. So here are some tips:
<h5>ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR BODY</h5>
Your body has its own innate wisdom about what foods you should, and shouldn’t eat right now. No one – no doctor, no physician, no therapist – knows you better than you know yourself. You have an infinite source of knowledge within you that is easily accessible. Practicing meditation and being mindful is key: when we quiet our minds, we can listen to what our instincts are telling us about the food we are putting in our mouths. Take a moment to be still and ask yourself what foods are right for you, right now. Being mindful also helps us to realize what our true cravings are, whether they are helping us or whether these cravings just fulfill an ego-driven desire for comfort.
<h5>LET LABELS GUIDE YOU BUT NOT DEFINE YOU</h5>
Try not to fall into the trap of letting your diet define who you are. The cells in our body are always dying and regenerating. Our bodies are always changing. So it makes sense that at different times in our lives we may need different foods. If you are guided to a certain way of eating, whether it is vegetarian, vegan, paleo, raw food etc., be mindful of how you feel with this new lifestyle and also be mindful of when it is time to change.
<h5>THE BIGGEST RISKS HAVE THE BIGGEST PAY OFFS</h5>
It is easy to just add certain foods to your diet in the hope that it will make all the difference, but the optimal diet for you may require you to let go of things that are stopping you from being well. Your health will only go so far if you keep adding things, without removing what is causing the problem in the first place. So listen not only to what your body needs to eat, but also what you need to let go of. Trust that the biggest risks have the biggest pay offs. Seeing change as hard will make it hard. Learn to view change as easy and exciting and it will be. Change your thoughts; change your world.
<h5>EAT WITH LOVE FOR YOURSELF. EXERCISE WITH LOVE FOR YOURSELF</h5>
The energy of love is so powerful that it can overcome the fear of change. When you truly learn to love yourself, you will naturally be guided towards eating for longevity and for optimal health, and your outward appearance will reflect this. You will be at the weight that is best for you. You will look your best. That is because your body will be nourished, and it will show. You know what’s best.
Disclaimer: This is the opinion of the author, and is not a substitute for medical guidance when required.
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<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by MELANIE PHILIPPIDES</h4>
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Which foods are right for you?

Melissa is a well-known entrepreneur and author based in the US, popularly known as co-founder of the toy company, Melissa&Doug. Melissa is also the author of Life Lines, an inspirational journey from darkness to light, a story she hopes will help others find a path to meaning and inner peace.

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Melissa Bernstein

Melissa Connelly is publishing her first novel, What Was Lost, on October 8, 2024, after a long career working with children in a variety of roles in schools, hospitals, psychiatric clinics, and day cares. She lives in Brooklyn, New York and spends time in the mountains of Western North Carolina. Her website is melissaconnelly.com.

Melissa Connelly.webp

Melissa Connelly

<h4 style="text-align:justify;">MELISSA CONNELLY is an author and therapist. Her recent novel, What Was Lost, explores trauma and redemption, risk taking and self-care, shame and acceptance. Here she shares her experience as a new writer and the importance of sharing story.</h4>&nbsp;My novel, What Was Lost, concerns two traumatic events in the main protagonist's life: Marti is disfigured by an accident when she’s seven years old, and at age fourteen her art teacher grooms and sexually abuses her, leading to a pregnancy. It’s a dark, disturbing journey for Marti as she confronts her history.I’ve worked as a child therapist, but I’m no expert on trauma, any more than anyone else is. As Marti says, “Everyone has their own trauma.” No one gets through life unscarred. Of course, there are degrees; some people suffer and survive inconceivable tragedies and heartbreaks repeatedly throughout their lives. Others seem beaten down by the smallest of occurrences. We sometimes call these people complainers. But there’s no reason to judge someone’s inability to get back up. Even if what’s upsetting them seems minor to us, it’s their reality; they feel what they feel. Some crumble whereas others rise. It could be because of a history of neglect, abuse, or early childhood trauma. Or it could be their chemical makeup. People can be blessed with resiliency, and others not so much. Feel lucky if you have grit; it's a kind of hell without it.One thing my own experiences have taught me is that just like we’re doomed to repeat history if we don’t learn from it, we’re doomed to live in trauma if we don’t confront it. It can be too much to deal with initially, and sometimes we’re given the grace of shock for a while. But eventually it needs to be faced or it will linger in some deep, musty corner of your core and come out and smack you when you least expect it.Marti tries to lessen her trauma’s impact by replicating the experience through dangerous choices she makes. This is common among sexual abuse victims: “It’s okay. Didn’t affect me. See? I did it again!” She also tries to stay with her abuser. She does this because her shame is so great that she feels safe only with him. As contrary as this seems, it’s common among victims. It’s why sexual and physical abusers are often let off the hook. She stayed with him, so it couldn't be that bad.I’ve lived through traumatic events in my life and one of the ways I coped was to talk about the experience. The more I shared every single, perhaps hard-to-hear, little detail, the more my hurt dissipated. But Marti doesn’t have that luxury. She feels complicit in her abuse. Shame births the secret, and that secret shame is how perpetrators get away with their actions.Someone said to me, “Your memoir is coming out?” I corrected them, “No it's a novel.” They responded, “It’s autobiographical though, right? Aren’t all first novels?” I've received many comments like that, and have felt a strong urge to correct them. There are some parallels in my life to Marti’s—I left home and high school very young, just as Marti does. But her story isn’t mine; I wasn’t sexually abused by a teacher at fourteen.I wanted to correct this impression because I felt Marti’s shame. This realization made me sad and a little disappointed in myself. After all, I wrote the story to show there’s no shame in it. My discomfort gives me a small taste of what it’s like to walk in her shoes and now I feel a greater need to defend Marti.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Writing is cathartic even when it isn’t your story,&nbsp; because in some ways it always is.&nbsp; It's the human story.</h4><hr>My defense is both arrogant and unnecessary; Marti defends herself just fine. After burying her experiences for thirty long years, she faces them. She grows from victim to survivor. And now that Marti is launched in the world, I need to go on my own journey of acceptance, by allowing people to assume it’s my story. I wrote it and so I own it.&nbsp;I’m growing alongside Marti into a new understanding of the issues I wrote about—and of myself—as I advocate for the troubling, unsettling book I’ve written. Writing is cathartic even when it isn’t your story, because in some ways it always is. It's the human story.&nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:25%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/writer_transference2_51e2a259a4.jpg" alt="writer-transference2.jpg" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_writer_transference2_51e2a259a4.jpg 101w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_writer_transference2_51e2a259a4.jpg 323w," sizes="100vw"></figure>

A writer’s transference

Meredith Klein

<h4>MEREDITH KLEIN gives us an Ayurvedic perspective on how to balance both the
 mind and body through the foods we eat. In particular, she focuses on the nature of vata, which is
 particularly susceptible to imbalance during the autumn months, currently experienced in the Northern Hemisphere.
</h4>
Could the food on your plate stand between you and a peaceful mind?
The ancient science of Ayurveda says absolutely! In understanding our bodies and minds
 to be subject to the same energetic patterns as everything else in the universe, when we feel scattered, erratic,
 and particularly busy in the mind, we are suffering from an excess of vata energy. Vata is ruled
 by the elements of air and space; the creative, generative energy of life. Physically it manifests in conditions
 characterized by dryness, irregularity and lightness, including insomnia, constipation and chapped skin. In the
 mind, vata is experienced as quick-moving thoughts, inability to focus, and excessive anxiety.
During the fall or autumn, we are particularly susceptible to vata imbalance,
 but given the pace of modern life and its many competing demands, I find that just about everyone I encounter has
 some amount of work to do to pacify vata.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Vata is ruled by the elements of air and space; 
 the creative, generative energy of life.</h5>
<hr>
At its heart, Ayurveda is fundamentally a science of balance. Any time we detect an
 excess of a particular energetic quality, we treat it by inviting in the opposite qualities. One of the best ways to
 overcome imbalance is through diet, since we eat several times a day. Every meal becomes an opportunity to make wise
 choices that help restore us to a place of optimal balance and wellness.
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Preparing your own food you can take responsibility
 
 for tailoring it in ways you will most enjoy, 
 and that will provide the maximum healing effects.
</h5>
<hr>
<img alt="fall-eating" 
 class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Fall_Eating4_4bee8128ea.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:06:39.251Z">

When you find yourself experiencing the overwhelm of a racing mind, or subject to
 physical conditions that reflect the qualities mentioned, consider these guidelines when choosing what to consume:

Choose foods that are warm and moist. Stews, dahls and
 soups are optimal choices, as is anything else that requires a bowl rather than a plate. Raw salads, smoothies and
 dry foods like cookies, crackers and toast can throw us further out of balance. If you do eat these things, consider
 using warming spices like ginger, cinnamon or cloves in dressings or spreads that can accompany your meals.
Favor foods that are sweet or slightly sour. The sweet and sour
 tastes are recognized in Ayurveda to be vata-balancing. Avoid sweetness in the form of refined sugars and
 choose foods that are naturally sweet. Consider introducing these flavors via condiments to accompany your meals,
 like chutneys. Fruit is most balancing when cooked (see the recipe below).
Eat near the earth. Foods that grow in the soil – potatoes, beets,
 parsnips and other root vegetables – are inherently grounding, as are the numerous winter squash varieties that grow
 on ground-level vines.
Eat meals you prepare yourself. The simple act of cooking can be a
 very grounding exercise, and in preparing your own food you can take responsibility for tailoring it in ways you
 will most enjoy, and that will provide the maximum healing effects.
This easy vata-balancing recipe makes for a healthy dessert or a tasty topping
 for warm breakfast cereals.

<hr class="vertical-space1"><img alt="fall-eating" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Fall_Eating2_4e36359616.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:07:52.443Z">

<h3 style="text-align: center;">Warm Fruit Compote</h3>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Ingredients:</h4>
2 large green apples, peeled and diced into ¾ inch pieces 
 2 pears, peeled and diced into ¾ inch pieces 
 1/3 cup dried prunes (or other dried fruit of your choice) 
 1/8 cup golden raisins 
 Half a vanilla bean pod (optional)
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Preparation:</h4>
Place all ingredients in a saucepan and add 1/2 cup of water. 
 Bring water to the boil over medium-high heat, then reduce heat to a gentle simmer. 
 Cover the pot and let fruit cook 15 to 20 minutes, until soft but not mushy. 
 Serve immediately. 
 Leftovers can be refrigerated and reheated.

<hr class="vertical-space1">

<div>
 <img alt="fall-eating" class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Fall_Eating3_0329858bb4.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-06T07:08:51.853Z">
</div>
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by MEREDITH KLEIN</h4>
<hr>

Fall eating

<hr class="vertical-space1">
<h4>MEREDITH KLEIN shares her thoughts and experience on self-generosity, and
 especially how to avoid the Buddha’s concept of the second arrow.</h4>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
A teacher of mine offers each cohort of students she works with an exercise where she
 asks them to make a list of all the people they care for in their lives. At the end of five minutes, students put down
 their pens, and then she asks how many people included their own names on their lists. People rarely, if ever, list
 themselves.
Similarly, if I asked you now to make a list of the people for whom you practiced
 generosity, would your name make the list? Most likely not. For most of us, when we are asked how we practice
 generosity, we bring to mind transactional acts of giving between ourselves and something or someone external to us –
 whether another person, institution or organization. Perhaps something tangible is involved, or perhaps what we give
 is intangible (like our time or presence). But almost always, generosity is thought of as an act that binds two
 parties via the act of giving.
Beyond the ways we have been socially conditioned to think about generosity, we may not
 bring ourselves to mind when thinking about our generosity practice, simply because many of us have not built a habit
 of practicing self-generosity. I witness this all the time with my clients, who tell me how they will go to great
 lengths to find time to prepare healthy, nourishing meals when they have guests coming for dinner, but who will
 fiercely resist making the effort to cook for themselves, and may even skip meals altogether. For most people,
 generosity is easier to cultivate for people and things outside themselves, and far harder to conjure up for
 ourselves.
<hr class="vertical-space1">


<img class="lazyload has-img-center"
 src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/second_arrow2_b691125d6d.jpg">
<hr class="vertical-space1">
There are many ways to practice self-generosity, and while many are active practices of
 dedicating time and resources towards our own betterment, there are also practices of restraint – abstaining from a
 particular behavior can present a path for self-generosity.
One of the most fruitful ways in which I’ve found to apply this form of self-generosity
 is the practice of avoiding the second arrow. This comes from a parable in which the Buddha taught that while we
 cannot avoid the first arrow (inevitable acts of suffering), we can avoid the second arrow that we inflict upon
 ourselves in the form of our reaction to the first arrow.
<hr class="vertical-space1">


<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">For most of us, our default second arrow 
 is to travel down a thought spiral of 
 self-criticism because of our mistake. 
 By avoiding the second arrow, 
 we practice generosity towards ourselves 
 by actively choosing to keep our mental space 
 clear of self-criticism.
</h5>


<hr>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
This practice is especially potent in situations where we have made any type of mistake.
 For most of us, our default second arrow is to travel down a thought spiral of self-criticism because of our mistake.
 By avoiding the second arrow, we practice generosity towards ourselves by actively choosing to keep our mental space
 clear of self-criticism. For example, if I break a glass and cut myself, an act of self-generosity would be to simply
 witness what happened, bandage my hand, and pick up the broken glass. The less generous path would be to pile on
 stories about how I am clumsy or have failed to be mindful.
When we practice in this way, we allow ourselves to tap into a deeper form of generosity
 – the recognition that as human beings, we will never adhere to any model of perfection. Freed from the shackles of
 the unrealistic expectations we hold for ourselves, we can extend this remembrance to others. In this way,
 self-generosity can be the fuel for the extension of greater generosity of spirit to everyone we encounter.
<hr class="vertical-space1">


<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by MEREDITH KLEIN 
 Illustrations by OLGA TASHLIKOVICH</h4>


<hr>

The second arrow

Merete has more than 20 years’ experience in the field of voice and performance training. Her company, Living Voice, works with leaders and communicators helping them become better speakers, to strengthen their voice, and achieve authentic leadership. Learn more at www.livingvoice.dk.&nbsp;

Merete.webp

Merete Nørgaard

Living voice

Mia is a freelance writer and researcher who specializes in mental health, well-being and self-care. She is also the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of the online health publication, <a href="http://www.bodymind.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Body+Mind magazine</a>.&nbsp;

mia-barnes.webp

Mia Barnes

<h4>MIA BARNES shares some tips on intention setting to create positive affirmations for mental health and well-being.</h4>How do you use affirmations in your life? Are they sayings you turn to for comfort in troubled times? You can also use them to steer your life’s course by speaking them as intentions.Think about it – every existing built thing began as a simple idea. What makes the magic happen is aligning your actions with your vision. Speaking positive affirmations gives power to your truth, consciously and subconsciously aligning your behaviors with your goals.<h4>Why and how to set positive intentions</h4>Is there a difference between an intention and an affirmation? According to the Nth Degree Collective folks, intentions <a href="https://nthdegreecollective.com/manifestation-affirmations-and-intentions/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">refer to your wanted outcome</a> or goal, while affirmations direct your focus. Intentions are the “what,” while affirmations provide the “how.”Look at this principle in action. What if you want to ease depression? You might use an affirmation as your intention, for example, “I am a positive person who makes the best out of any situation.” How can such a statement affect lasting change?Every time you recite that intention, you remind yourself, “So what if I’m looking at a pile of lemons? How can I make lemonade?” You become <a href="https://www.gatewayfoundation.org/addiction-blog/improve-mood-living-with-depression/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">more mindful of your current behaviors</a> and how they influence your mood.For instance, you probably know lying on your couch and surfing social media can make you feel worse when you have depression. Reciting your intention may prompt you to get up, step outside, go for a brisk walk, or make cloud animals until your mood lifts.Use positive affirmations for intention setting as an alignment check for your body, mind, and spirit. When everything works together to manifest a goal, progress becomes easier. Reciting your saying is how you rotate your mental tires in order to keep everything rolling smoothly toward your desired outcome.<h4>When to use positive affirmations for intention setting</h4>You can recite your affirmations as often as you wish, or when you feel is necessary to be more grounded. Write your intentions on paper, put them in your planner, sew them into fun cross-stitch patterns, make them visible to ground them in your consciousness.That said, reciting your intentions at certain times helps make the practice an integral part of your lifestyle. Set a reminder on your phone to meditate briefly on your affirmations at the following times:First thing in the morning: The hypnopompic twilight hours make your brain more open to suggestions. Meditating on your affirmation when you first open your eyes sets the tone for your day.Before big events: Take a moment to center yourself and recite your affirmation to induce calm.To begin an important ritual: Many yoga classes begin by reciting an affirmation or intention. You can also use one to open a formal meditation practice.When you feel unsettled: Your affirmation can help ground you when panic threatens.At night before sleep: The hypnogogic period also makes your mind suggestible. Some people think reciting an affirmation before bed will help you find answers to your problems in your dreams.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Use positive affirmations for intention setting as&nbsp;&nbsp; an alignment check for your body, mind and spirit.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; When everything works together&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;to manifest a goal, progress becomes easier.</h4><hr><h4>Sample positive affirmations that double as intentions&nbsp;</h4>What should a positive affirmation that doubles as an intention look like? It’s very <a href="https://omyogaworks.co.uk/sankalpa-your-seed-of-change/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">similar to setting a sankalpa</a> in Yoga Nidra. You’ll notice this is also an active “this is what is” statement, not a wish – for example, “Peace is my true nature” versus “I want more peace in my life.”&nbsp;&nbsp; Why is the phrasing of your affirmation-intention important? There’s a considerable mental difference between “this is” and “this will be.” When something simply is, it dictates your behavior in the present moment, not an elusive future time when the stars align and you have less stress.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/positive_affirmations2_600fcc1ab5.webp" alt="positive-affirmations2.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_positive_affirmations2_600fcc1ab5.webp 119w,https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/small_positive_affirmations2_600fcc1ab5.webp 382w," sizes="100vw"></figure>Here are six sample positive affirmations that double as intentions:I choose healthy practices for my body and mind&nbsp;This affirmation helps if you’re trying to overcome a bad habit or embrace a healthy new one. For example, use it when starting a new exercise program. You know the reality – inevitably life happens and prevents you from getting to the gym.&nbsp;&nbsp; Reciting it reminds you that one slip doesn’t have to justify 20 other bad choices. Maybe you didn’t make it to spin class, but it’s not a foregone conclusion that you’ll eat poorly while binging Netflix after arriving home. You can still do 15 minutes of calisthenics and stretching in front of the TV, and choose a salad over a pint of ice cream for dinner.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/positive_affirmations3_664022fc66.webp" alt="positive-affirmations3.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_positive_affirmations3_664022fc66.webp 164w," sizes="100vw"></figure> I have ultimate control over how I handle my energy&nbsp;The reality of life is much of it lies beyond your control. Good people develop devastating illnesses, get laid off from their jobs, have their homes ransacked by thieves, hearts broken, and lives upended by dishonest or abusive partners.The one thing you can always control is how you respond to things. You have 100% jurisdiction over how you handle your energy – this affirmation reminds you to direct it wisely. What can you do, given the reality you face? What is the best course of action?&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/positive_affirmations4_73b7427d6f.webp" alt="positive-affirmations4.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_positive_affirmations4_73b7427d6f.webp 164w," sizes="100vw"></figure>I am responsive and not reactive&nbsp;Many people live a considerable percentage of their lives in default mode, reacting to situations the same way they always have and wondering why little ever improves. The problem is learned experiences and reactions aren’t always the wisest and most beneficial.This affirmation is fabulous when you’re working on improving your emotional regulation. It’s also beneficial for overcoming negative habits. For example, does a stressful day always leave you saying, “I need a drink"? What’s a healthier way to ease the tension?&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/positive_affirmations5_abb6b194a5.webp" alt="positive-affirmations5.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_positive_affirmations5_abb6b194a5.webp 164w," sizes="100vw"></figure>&nbsp;In the darkest winter lives within me an indomitable summer&nbsp;Even if you are deeply depressed, you can probably recall one time when you genuinely felt happy. Experienced yogis and meditators can manifest this emotion in their bodies, calling upon it whenever necessary.Spend time in meditation, reliving the experience of joy. Feel it in every cell. Explore what parts of your body become activated. Then, use this affirmation to remind yourself you can evoke this emotion amid life’s storms. Remember – everything is temporary and this darkness will eventually pass.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/positive_affirmations6_ab9e20a5c1.webp" alt="positive-affirmations6.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_positive_affirmations6_ab9e20a5c1.webp 164w," sizes="100vw"></figure><hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Positive affirmations are perfect to&nbsp;&nbsp; use for intention setting. They take the “I will”&nbsp;&nbsp; out of the equation, transforming it into “I am.”&nbsp;</h4><hr>I am mindful of how my energy affects others&nbsp;Other people can’t see the emotional turmoil inside you. All they see are your behaviors, which they interpret through their lens. You know you’re short-tempered because of stress at work, but the cashier only sees an impossible-to-please customer.This affirmation reminds you to exercise your empathy muscle. Before you act, consider how your behavior will impact others and choose accordingly.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/positive_affirmations7_3f0575b55d.webp" alt="positive-affirmations7.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_positive_affirmations7_3f0575b55d.webp 164w," sizes="100vw"></figure>I actively create the world I want to see&nbsp;A lack of agency – the belief your actions can make a positive difference – lies behind many mental health disorders like depression. It’s true you might not be able to change the world single-handedly, but you might be surprised by how much power you have to affect your daily life.This affirmation reminds you to become mindful of what you can change and inspires you to take action.&nbsp;For example, has litter taken over your favorite campsite? You could complain about people who don’t care all day – or you could grab some empty bags and boxes, and get the place spic and span in an hour or two.<figure class="image image_resized" style="width:50%;"><img src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/positive_affirmations8_26ef198717.webp" alt="positive-affirmations8.webp" srcset="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/thumbnail_positive_affirmations8_26ef198717.webp 164w," sizes="100vw"></figure><h4> Using positive affirmations to create your intentions&nbsp;</h4>Positive affirmations are perfect to use for intention setting. They take the “I will” out of the equation, transforming it into “I am.” The process takes the changes you want to see out of the elusive future and brings them into the present moment.Follow the above tips to use positive affirmations for intention setting. Post yours where you see them often, get in the habit of reciting them throughout the day and watch your life transform.<hr><h4 style="text-align:center;">Illustrations by LAKSHMI GADDAM&nbsp;</h4><hr>

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